How many times have you been pregnant? *Sensitive topic*

**sirenz** · September 21st, 2011, 03:49 PM

this is pregnancy #4 for me
1st was a m/c
2nd was my gorgeous ds who is soon to turn 4

3rd another m/c
4th is baking now, my fingers are crossed its a sticky one

**Jennifer13** · September 21st, 2011, 03:57 PM

2 pgs - one DD and a second DD still baking. I am very, very blessed.

Tashy - your story and others like you were an inspiration to me this time around. While TTC didn't take long, convincing DP to go for number two did (12 mths in fact), so I was determined to enjoy every day with this little one and not stress like I did with DD1. What you have said is exactly what I felt during my first pg, stressing about this stage and the next and so on. While in our case it didn't come to anything and just tarnished my pg experience, I thought this time around that no matter what happened I would enjoy whatever time I had. That this baby is still with me, whether on the inside or the outside, for as long as it is meant to be.

I probably didn't say that very well.

But please rest assured, all of the stories, whether they be early or late losses, serve as a reminder to me to be grateful for what I have and I thank God every day. I take every one of your angels as a testament to the fragility of life and the courage we need to hope.

**Glamourcide** · September 21st, 2011, 04:33 PM

with all due respect it does not mean that the pregnancy or baby are not missed dearly or that parents of early losses don't feel the weight of the loss just because it was not a full term baby.

They cannot be compared to each other but for those that feel its "less significant" ....... well frankly its insulting!

I absolutely understand that, and just wanted to clarify that I do not at all feel that mothers who have experienced loss in the early stages of pregnancy feel pain that is any less valid than those who have lost their babies later in pregnancy, or to stillbirth or neonatal or child death. For me *personally*, I didn't count my losses as 'babies' and the pregnancies were unplanned (unlike my two DDs who were actively conceived and wanted right from the very start), but I can definitely respect that others don't share my feelings when it comes to their own losses. I just know that I personally am less attached to a pregnancy until I'm in the later part of the first trimester, and would be absolutely shattered to lose a baby late in pregnancy or at term or after, but my early losses didn't impact on me in a huge way like it does others. We all feel differently.

**TeniBear** · September 21st, 2011, 04:43 PM

I know there's no "good" way to lose a baby, but for me at least, the way Ianto went would be the best/gentlest way. He was pretty much fully formed so I got to hold him and kiss him; I didn't have to watch him die in hospital or have him die suddenly when I thought he was okay once he was born; he didn't die during labour; according to the law, he was an actual person; and he was my first known pregnancy. Though on that last point, I think for me losing a subsequent baby rather than my first might gave been "better"...

I know having a baby die in any way is horrific, but I'm partly glad this is the way fate chose to take him. When I was pregnant with Amelia, I was more scared of miscarrying her than having another stillbirth. That thought process put a few people off, but it's just how I felt for *me*. I'm not going to say such-and-such shouldn't complain because this or that happened to this other person, because maybe Person Two feels Person One is worse off! It's a matter of your own perspective, not someone else's.

Right, now I'm going to go cry a bit. It's been a very emotional day.

Sent from my iPhone so forgive the speelung misstacks

**Anila** · September 21st, 2011, 05:13 PM

i have had 8 pregnancies resulting in 6 babies
1- angel 1998 11.5 weeks
2- baby 2001
3- baby 2003
4- baby 2005
5- baby 2006
6- baby 2008
7- angel 2009 6.5 weeks
8- baby 2011

**Ginger** · September 21st, 2011, 05:31 PM

i've had 2 pregnancies resulting in 2 beautiful baby boys.

**FabFiona** · September 21st, 2011, 06:55 PM

This thread makes me cry. All those babies that were never born. So sad.

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**My Three Sons** · September 21st, 2011, 07:05 PM

I am very lucky to have had 3 pregnancies resulting in 3 healthy boys.

It is through forums and discussions like these, and through my friends and sisters losses that i have realised just how common it is, and just how lucky i am!

**melbel** · September 21st, 2011, 07:12 PM

5 pregnancies, 6 babies.....1 living take home bubba (connor had a twin that didn't make it)

**Livinthedream** · September 21st, 2011, 07:40 PM

2 pregnancies 1 8wk m/c, 1 take home baby.

**Joeve** · September 21st, 2011, 07:41 PM

3 pregnancies all m/c before 8 weeks.

**Nai** · September 21st, 2011, 07:52 PM

I have been very lucky and blessed to have had 2 pregnancies and 2 beautiful girls.

**dantri** · September 21st, 2011, 08:28 PM

I have had just the one pregnancy which was a missed miscarriage. Bubs died at 6-7 weeks. Currently in the TWW.

Just wanted to say that as horrific as the pain I'm feeling about losing my baby is at the moment I still feel somewhat blessed that it was an early loss, naturally, and I'm still very healthy. I can't imagine how it must feel to lose a child later on, to have fertility issues, health issues. I still feel like I'm one of the lucky ones. That said, this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my life. But everybody has their own story. It isn't right or wrong just different.

My heart, too, breaks reading this thread and learning of all the lost little ones. But it also swells with hope and admiration at the strength of women who have been crushed, sometimes just once, sometimes more and are still standing brave and strong. My heart is filled with hope at the many many beautiful babies that have been born, taken home and loved and are now growing as part of families. And the thought of all those to come. Isn't that such a beautiful thing. And isn't it why we go through this heartache and pain, whether it be short or long term, in TTC, trying to stay pregnant or willing our early or sick babies to be strong. In the hope that we may know them and watch them grow. I know it's difficult, I'm struggling at the moment with it every day but let's focus on how beautiful pregnancy and birth and parenthood will be or is. At the end of the journey when we have our fat healthy babies in our arms isn't it worth it?

Not sure what my point is but just felt like I wanted to share these thoughts. Much love to all of you amazing women, reading all of your stories on this forum inspires me.

I hope I haven't offended anyone.

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**forshelby** · September 21st, 2011, 09:55 PM

2 pregnancies.

One m/c at 8 weeks, and one living child, a little boy.

**Ozziehoffy** · September 21st, 2011, 10:27 PM

4 pg... 3 boys... 1 bubby gone to angel heaven at around 10 weeks.

**Rouge** · September 21st, 2011, 11:21 PM

Beautiful Teni. I think that's the thing every person is going to react differently to everything that has happened to them than another person might. It doesn't make the feelings of anyone any less valid just different. Comparison doesn't get anyone anywhere. Everyone is different, everyone's pain is different and everyone grieves differently no matter how similar or how different the loss is.