I'm completely prepared for the fact that I may need to use drugs and if I do, then I will. It will be no big deal but I am going in with the mindset that i can try to labour as long as possible without needing anything and I think thats the best mind set to have
The whole point of this thread was that I'm tired of being told by others "oh take ALL the drugs you need cos labour and birth is the most horrific thing in the world"
I know its gonna hurt but I just want to hear more positive things about it you know? Just cos someone else couldnt cope with the pain doesnt mean i wont be able to.
In terms of how babies cry, I was only generalising about what my family members were implying to me yesterday iykwim?! Yes some babies are more unsettled than others and some hardly cry. It all depends huh.
My to be MIL kept telling me to take all the drugs dont be a silly girl have a c section because birth is savage (her word not mine). She made it so scary for me told DP I would be a 'sook' the whole time etc. Needless to say she is not on the xmas card list
I think when people say "have the drugs" you need to remember that they are really only talking from their perspective of labour and birth. Everyone's experiences are different.
You'll do great Renee! Think of yourself as a pioneer of modern birth for your older family members LOL! I'm sure once you've had your bub and they see how well you did they will all change their minds
It's also important to remember that EVERYONE wants validation, and they want to feel that what they did was right. If they agree with everything you're doing, maybe they feel they're saying they did it wrong. I think it comes down to everyone wanting to be acknowledged for the way they have done things, and more often than not, we don't get acknowledgement.
My mum for example found childbirth excruciating but I didnt' know that until I told her how I felt. I think she has never shared that with anyone before, whereas now days we tell all about our birth experience. I think back then (for my mum and her social cirlce at least) they had to grin and bear it. Letting mum talk about it now validate's what she went through. I can say to her "wow thanks mum for all that you went through to have me ,it must've been tough). And really she did so much for me that went unthanked by anyone, that for us to say we don't want to take their advice, it probably hurts.
So I wouldn't at all think theyre' being negative or unsupportive, I think they just want to feel that they did things right.
I hope you have a wonderful birth xxo
Webbmeg - thats a great way of looking at it.... you're right about the validation side of things. And fair enough too huh.... everyone needs acknowledgement for what they went through, good or bad
I think once I go through labour/birth with this bub, I'll be able to say to Mum "thanks for going through all that for me!!" as I'll understand it all better.
I'm just sooo damn excited about the soon to be labour and birth of our first child!!! It's so exciting!! I just can't wait to experience it all...... the good and the bad!! But when i say that to people they think i'm mad for thinking like that
Your next birth will be just as you hoped hun And even if it isn't, you tried. And you were excited about it all and that's what matters! We go in with a positive mind huh.
Ironically i met with the head of Obs yesterday and we briefly discussed my pending birth - i mentioned to him that I had every intention to have a natural, drug free, intervention free labour - he told me i was mad and that I should order the EPI now - I laughed as i have had the EPI previously and only received 20 minutes of relief - i told him that for me personally it wasn't worth it - it didn't fulfill my expectations and that I would rather go without - either way its very interesting to have people give you advice when they're not the ones at the business end - good luck with your pending birth - i hope that you achieve exactly what you're hoping for - what ever happens
Ren - I know exactly what you mean in this post!! Older family members think that they are all so experienced, blah, blah and yes, to a certain extent they know some stuff that you have yet to experienced.
However, you go with what YOU think is best for your baby!!!!! and don't think the 'advice' stops here - wait until the baby is born, and you will get all sorts of other advice that may have to listen to, but not take. My mother was so much like this, don't do this, we did this....blah, blah....
This 2nd time around, I am happy to say I feel more confident to do what my hubby and I want to do in terms of caring for our baby.
and positive - yes, you are incredibly positive - good for you - this is a wonderful trait to have and don't let others comments let you down or put doubts in your mind about your mothering skills - they will be just wonderful !!
Renstar, don't listen to them. You know, THEY HAVE NO IDEA!
I had people say the same things to me. My FIL laughed at me when I said I was going to a birth centre and wanting to do it naturally without drugs. He actually said: "You won't be able to do it without drugs. it really, really hurts, believe me!" What??? BELIEVE ME??? How many babies has he given birth to??? And how would he know how I can handle the situation. He doesn't even know whether I have a high or low pain threshold.
I had a slightly different experience to you though, as my own parents were more along the lines: "Thousands of generations of women have done this wihtout drugs, so why couldn't you."
Although, when I mentioned the possibility of a water birth, my mum was really against it. until she witnessed the waterbirth of my baby girl and since then she's the biggest supporter of waterbirth.
So, even though they might have had 10 children, if they have never experienced a well supported natural birth, they really don't know what they're talking about.
There's a link to my birth story in my siggie, if you want to read a story about how it can be done.
And about the hammock, I am a bit sad that I didn't know about them when DD was still little. I do believe they would work. DD slept best in the Hug A Bub which also had continuous motion, as I was moving around.
Get used to it, they will continue to patronise you and criticise you for your parenting decisions. Just don't listen. Pick the things that sound good to you, but ignore the rest. Listen to your instincts. They have served our species well for hundreds of thousands of years.
Ren = I can vouch for the baby hammock..... the Bear did all the research like you and decided it was the best thing. Our DD loved it from the first minute we put her in it, she has been sleeping through the night since she was 10 weeks old, we take it when we go on holidays and she doesn't get disrupted, I can put her down in it wide awake and in five minutes she is asleep - trust me you will love the baby hammock!
In retrospect I was really surprised at all the negative things that people said to me (they were always people with more than one child too what's with that? they thought it was so terrible and did it more than once?) before DD was born. Birth wasn't that bad, I was like you = thought "I'll see how I go" and just took it one contraction at a time.... I only had gas and I had augmentation, was flat on my back and on monitors the whole time. It's really not that bad. and babies are just great. They have tricky moments but they are wonderful a lot of the time. You are going to have a great birth and love being a mum - enjoy!!! On the bright side I was prepared for all these terrible things and it turned out to be great!
ah thats so cute!! She is smiling! so relaxed..... thats good how you have put a terry towelling nappy down under her, i was wondering about that i might do the same GREAT idea..
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But when i say that to people they think i'm mad for thinking like that 
I appreciate that!! 
what's with that? they thought it was so terrible and did it more than once?) before DD was born. Birth wasn't that bad, I was like you = thought "I'll see how I go" and just took it one contraction at a time.... I only had gas and I had augmentation, was flat on my back and on monitors the whole time. It's really not that bad. and babies are just great. They have tricky moments but they are wonderful a lot of the time. You are going to have a great birth and love being a mum - enjoy!!! 
On the bright side I was prepared for all these terrible things and it turned out to be great! 
they look soooo comfy.
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