I can't imagine how hard this decision is for you. I say go with your heart. FWIW, I think mentally preparing yourself as best you can would be wise. For me, that would mean knowing the sex....... but by no means am I telling you that's what you should do.
That was soooooooo unhelpful, so I'll just finish with one of these...
when Ii was pregnant with Jack I needed to know it was hard to explain why part of me wanted another girl but another part of me was too scared that she would replace Katy...so I found out but Jase left the room..so it was only me who knew ...
I think in your case I would find out then the nursery would be baby ?? and not Jacks room, I still find myself looking at my Jacks bedroom we had picked the colors etc and were due to start painting when our Katy was stillborn, even the pram I bought while pregnant with her even though both boys have used it it is still Katy's pram and I am having trouble gaining courage to sell as its Katy's if that makes sense...
maybe finding out would be away for you all to move forward ((GBH)) in whatever your decision may be
We originally chose not to find out with DS2 until it went wrong but we weren't fussed about sex. If there's a next time, we'll probably find out so I can prepare myself as that will likely be our last baby.
If you wait to the end, you know you'll love baby either way. If you think you'll be disappointed with a girl, maybe it's best to find out early so you can work through that before baby is born.
Btw, I was also worried about the new baby 'replacing' DS1. That changed as we got to know him. He had his own strong personality from the start. It became more 'real' for us when we found he was a boy. I dont know why, but it did. Even though neither of them stayed with us, both boys were individuals. You'll never forget Jack. Your daughters may not understand now but they will later on.
Maybe get the doctor to write down the sex and put it in an envelope. You can open it when you're feeling more sure. Or baby may decide to keep you guessing anyway.
For so many reasons you listed is why I had to find out the sex of each of our babies! Do it if you need to.. I always said to people that its just as much of a surprise to hear the sonographer tell you the sex as it is for who ever delivers your baby!!! And to be honest, all your going to really want to care about that day is that bubs is here and alive and well!!! So i say go for it and prepare your self early for whatever comes so that on that beautiful magical day you can just be happy that bubs is here!!! xoxxox
I like tashybabes idea of getting them to write it down for you- then its not all decided on that day (well the sex of the baby is decided lol but not you knowing that day and that day only)... you can take your time and decide later on and it can be something you discover privately and make a special moment.
I got tears in my eyes reading what your DD said... that would be so hard!!!! I think even for her sake (and for yours so you can explain it to her with more clarity) that you do need to find out so that if A) you are having a boy she can learn its not Jack and know your new baby by his name and B) if your having a girl so she can have time to be really ok thats its a girl and not Jack!
I def think go with Tashy's advice.. get them to writ eit down and then you can know that its there if you want to know xoxoxo
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For so many reasons you listed is why I had to find out the sex of each of our babies!
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