thanks, i put too much pressure on myself! i really stuffed up tonight. ive cracked under the pressure to do it all.
i yelled at my poor son, and he didnt deserve it.i completely failed him, i failed my partner who has been trying really hard to take the pressure off for me, he's been awesome, and the relationships under strain because this pregnancy was unplanned and we;d only just met each other a few weeks before i fell pregnant and he moved in with my son and i a few months ago, and i have this massive guilt when ever he has to do things he doesnt really want to do because even though he says he is happy, i still know that he struggles with this enormous life change...
my husband left my son and i when our son was six months old so i was a single mum from then on, really really independant and strong but also untrusting, and very fearful of being hurt again and still am. so its hard for me as well.
i was in such a bad mood tonight and i couldnt get my thoughts together enough to even cook a meal for myself and my son, cant even remember what was said but i lost it and i kicked a fan into the TV which is now broken, and since then all ive done is cry and think really bad stuff about myself :-(