thank you everyone for your support and kind words!

I'm feeling much better tonight but still feeling quite depressed :-( my mum took toddler for the day and i got lots of rest and had time to think. now i just have to deal with mum being "so worried about me" and "you need to go see the doctor"!

I'm seeing the midwife tomorrow, we'll see. I am feeling more positive about the future now.

thanks again.