meh. I've asked if it's planned before. Why assume the question means more than it is? Unplanned doesn't equal unwanted.. it's just a question.

Having said that.. I'll probably be asked this too when we are pg with #3 cos we already have a boy & a girl. Sure it'll irritate me, but I wouldn't be offended and see it as people prying into my sex life!
...if I asked the "Was it planned" question in the past I certainly wouldn't have been thinking they want the baby less or interested in their sex life.
Diff'rent strokes then, I guess. To me, the question is saying, "So did your contraception fail or didn't you use any?"