im not sure where to put this, and im typing through tears
as some may have read my thread on thursday that my bmi was 1 point over the hospitals limit and after having 5 babies there, they have refused to let me labour there.

So now my husband and i are fighting, origanally, i was going to send off a letter hoping to get my case reviewed, since then i have decided not too, and to just let it be, and go to another hospital, which my husband is against, he is yelling at me, saying i should put my letter in, telling me its all about me, i dontthink of anyone else.

You see i dont drive, my husband drives, so he is going on about driving to another hospital when we have one 5 min down the road, he is going on about having to pay for parking, telling me its my fault im over the bmi, he even told me to drop dead, and why did we have this baby!

yes it is about me, i have to give birth, i need to feel comfortable, there are 2 other hospitals i can go to, 1 i have been told by everyone not to, and thats the one he wants me to go to, cause its better for traffic!

i dont want to go to either, i want to stay where i was comfy, i feel like crap cause i am overweight, i feel like crap cause i cant birth where i want and i feel like crap cause my husband isnt being supportive!

He says he is supportive but he cant be over this, he wants me to fight the decision, i need to move forward, what if i fight it and they say no, then i have wasted time, time moving on, time getting used to the idea im birthing somewhere else.

im angry with him, but then thats me making it all about myself!

My husband really is a great man, he does so much for this family, he is the sole driver, the sole wage earner, and i do understand his frustration, and i know he doesnt mean to take it out on me, i think deap down inside he is just as hurt and as confussed as i am, but his choice of words, his yelling at me, it isnt helping.

i would even consider a home birth, but i cant afford a midwife, and my house isnt always tody, and if the hospital see me as being "high risk" then how am i supposed to bith at home?

i just dont know what to do, im very hurt and confused by all of this right now.