Maybe write the letter, complain and if you wanted, lose a bit of weight (that sounded horrible, but it wasn't meant to! Honest! )... That way, you've put up a fight, of sorts, and if it's still rejected, least you've made an effort.
The support of my DH is more important to me than anything, I'm impressed that he is also taking a 'driving role' in the birth of your bubba as so many guys tend to fall into the background with the 'yes dear, no dear' approach. But at the same point, you don't need anymore stress. Rock and a hard place eh?
Would it make a difference if you tried to lose a few kg's? Or now they've made up their mind that is it, is it? If you've still got a shot try to sneak in a daily walk or something else you like to do activity wise perhaps...big hugs hun!
Big hugs sweetie, what a stressful time for you ATM! I hope you got some good rest hun. I think you should write this letter, because by the sounds of it both you and your hubby want to go to the hossy you've already given birth to all your babies. And it's nice and close too. One point over is so silly, they should allow you to birth there IMO. What do the hossy want you to do? You are pg for goodness sake, so your weight will be going up, what weight do they want you to be?????? Seriously, appeal the hossy's decision and fight it. I would, and then at least you're doing something about it and hopefully your hubby will see that you're fighting it and you're not taking it laying down. I think deep down he is feeling angry at how you are being treated & is taking it out on you!
Let us know how you go hun and please try not to stress too much.
It does sound like he needs a it of a cool down preiod to let him digest whats going on. That doesn't change the fact that he was really quite hurtful with some of the things he said you sweet .
Yes I still think as the others have said you still have 2 options: try & work on your BMI between now & then; & write your letter of complaint about how they treated you.
But he is the father of your child....so what's wrong with him helping you to stand up for yourself & bub with the hospital???? Why does it have to be solely your responsibility? He could've written the letter complaining about how his wife was treated.
Give your DH a big kick up the bum for me. Tell him to write the letter and start the complaint process if he is soo determined you should. I understand that when you are that far along it can all get to be a bit too much, and takes so much time and energy fighting something - even if you do feel that some part of you does want to fight it. As for his complaint about being the driver - boohoo - tell him to try being the passenger when you are in labour: it is no walk in the park.
ill make this quick as im on hubbys comp and his key board doesnt work properly, ill follow up on my comp later
the hospital already told ,me even if i loose weight they wont take me
hubby said sorry, said he is stressed which i knew and said he didnt say very nice things
but still says this is all 1 sided and i only think bout myself
and i cant afford the homebirth as the bbay bonus is being used to buy a second car
i dont feel like myself anymore, i have lost the happy person i once was, i just want me back
hubby says he doesnt like this fighting all becasue of the hospital
Well what sort of an apology is that!? Just forget about what he is up to. As for buying a second car on the Baby bonus, why does he need two, you can only drive one at a time, and the $5000 is paid fortnightly.
I would say why not just investigate Home birth as an option as they others have suggested, and I would just ignore your hubby and keep putting yourself first, after all you have another little person on board there at the moment.
Just take one step at a time, call the complaints person at Redlands, or write. Explain more about your personal situation as well, and say you really need their help. They should then get on board with assisting you. I know at the RBWH they said to call them for ANYTHING, including seeing a social worker about my relationship and that they would organise one to mediate between my partner and I, as he has OCD issues.
If you're going to complain then start off by knowing the facts. Get a copy of the policy. It seems wrong to me that they are saying that EVEN IF you lose weight, they will not take you. Getting a copy of the policy should help with knowing whether they can actually do this or not.
Don't write a complaint before getting hold of the policy.
I think do nothing for a few days and see how you feel then.
I do think it's completely do-able to lose weight if you make some dietary changes. I was not able to exercise through my pregnancy at all because I couldn't walk due to SPD and had to use a wheelchair for anything more than 50 metres. I also had gestational diabetes but only put on 3kg throughout the entire pregnancy so really and truly, it is completely possible.
Oh hon that totally sucks. Others have suggested it and I agree, if you really want to birth at that hospital maybe you could loose that little bit of weight. Many woman have to watch what they are eating if they had GD and because of that they don't gain weight or loose some so I'm sure you could too. You've got plenty of time to give it a go anyway. If the other hospital really isn't a problem then maybe your husband will just have to get used to it. Is traffic really the problem? It seems a little irrational to me? Unless you pop your babies out in 30 mins than I don't see what the worry is to drive a little further. So sorry you are having the drama xoxo
Sorry hon, just saw your post about the hospital not accepting you even if you do loose the weight. Maybe you can find out if the hospital policy is to not birth woman of a certain weight on the day they labour or if it's a case of a woman being a certain BMI at 17 week etc Surely there is a loop hole?
Last edited by Cherished; February 7th, 2011 at 05:36 PM.
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)... That way, you've put up a fight, of sorts, and if it's still rejected, least you've made an effort.
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