Thanks so much for your responses guys, it means a lot.

HB, you've struck a chord with me, I think that you're totally right - the scars of LTTTC do run very deep and we had an early miscarriage in 2008 which was very traumatic and I was scared of the same thing happening again.
Neptune, I have a feeling that it will be the same for me - sinking in long after she is here!

Lots of my friends just assume that I am ok with all of this (which I am) but I am still terrified of something going wrong - another product of a long time of disappointments and heartache.

I'm slowly coming round and today I am going to buy our little cherub a very cute outfit to wear to come home from the hospital in. Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but a huge deal for me.

I'll get there, I'm sure. I just so want to meet this little one that we've been waiting on. I know that some women love being pregnant but to be honest, the pregnancy is a means to an end for me - I want that little bundle at the end of it all!!
Thanks for your thoughtful input guys.
Sue xx