Sue, I sympathise and understand.

I feel like the whole baby thing didn't kick in until 4 weeks after he arrived! That surreal feeling was made worse for me by looking at my beautiful baby but not recognising him as my son. It was quite strange; I thought he was adorable but couldn't quite grasp that he was mine, even though I was doing everything for him and felt very protective etc. I had an emergency caesarian too, so to find him suddenly in my arms was odd.

Then one day it all just kicked in and it sure feels real now!

Maybe subconsciously you are protecting yourself after all the trauma of getting to this point in one piece. You will get there, so just go with the flow until it happens for you.