Got a silly question. DH and I have been TTC for many years (including 1 year with IVF). We got our 1st unsuccessful pg in July this year. I think DH blames himself for the fact that we DTD during the first few weeks of pg that is the reason why we lost the baby. My feelings is that DTD should not affect the baby if it had implanted corrrectly in the first place or it was indeed a healthy bub. Anyway, just recently we got our BFP and since the day of embie transfer DH has stayed clear away.. not that I am keen on it or anything.. I don't want to spend 9 months of my pg without any intimacy with my DH.
So here's the question, does DTD really affect pregnancy? I had a pretty sexy dream this afternoon during my nap in which I think I might have had an orgasm. Will it have an impact on my bub? God I feel stupid for asking such questions.
There are no stupid questions I think, as long as its gentle IYKWIM, it shouldn't hurt the baby. They feel what you feel, so it could only make them feel good, right?
I'm not an authority, but thats what makes sense to me anyway
You have to do what feels right for you! Personally, after 2 mc's, I wanted to wait to the 12 week mark. Well, we got to 11 weeks but I felt much better in waiting (for both the mc's, even though they werent caused by DTD the bleeding started after DTD so it was more of a mental thing).
MY whole preg I have had orgasmic dreams, sometimes its so strong it wakes me up! As you can see, my ticker is still moving along nicely
So congratulations, good luck and dont stress! GO with the flow, go what feels is best for you and soon enough you will be popping in with a birth announcement!
DTD during pregnancy is usually safe, although if you have a consistent history of MC following intercourse, some OBs might recommend you avoid it.
In our case, our recent MC coincided reasonably closely with DTD, and so we too were hesitant at first with this pregnancy. Once we were fairly sure that things were going well, we became less worried.
And I have been told that an orgasm is like a big warm hug to a baby... LOL
Unless there are issues in the pregnancy like bleeding, cervix opening, low lying placenta etc then DTD is generally ok. If you have had a history of m/c then you may feel safer waiting until the 12 week mark.
Orgasms are apparently a great way to tone your uterus and get it ready for birth so it is actually good during pregnancy to get a few training sessions in (you don't need to DTD for that though ). Perhaps the dreams are our bodies way of self-training? It knows what it needs to do.
we have lost several angel babies and thought that we would wait until 12 weeks - unfotunately, nature seems to have other thoughts cos we've been dtd probably weekly (when DH home) - it's very different, and we're both cautious of anything that might harm the Gremlin, but it's been happening with no ill effect
actually, i tell a porky pie - ms gets MUCH worse the day after - think the gremlin enjoys the cuddles and becomes more active a few hours later - i suffer really bad ms afterward!! but that happens after the vivid dreams too...
Just one more question (not sure if I should ask it here). For those who had a m/c did you have any symptoms prior to knowing the gp is not viable. I know I shouldn't be too worried but I want to prepare myself. I don't want to feel that because I have no spotting (compare to last time) what so ever it means that I will have a viable pg and then fall very heavy back to earth/reality.
DTD does not cause miscarriage. You should have no need to avoid it unless your OB tells you too.
Apparently bubs feels your orgasm.
I had spotting with all my pregnancies regardless of them being successful or not.
Kahlan- I have also hear that it's safe to DTD when pregnant. DH and I did, but we were very careful and a bit worried about it to be honest.
As to your miscarriage question- I felt no change in symptoms...and I had no bleeding. But at the ultrasound there was no heartbeat. In my case though, i knew there was a chance of a problem, as I had been having regular BTs to monitor HCG levels and my HCG levels became slow rising. I was told by my OB that in some cases women can have slow rising levels and have a healthy pregnancy, but in other cases the pregnancy ends in miscarriage. So I guess my situation is a bit different, to one where there was no monitoring...
With the other pregnancy I had bleeding and pain, due to the ectopic, so different scenario again.
It's hard not to worry and be anxious when you want it so much. I can only imagine how I'll be when (have to be hopeful) I am pregnant again.
It must be very hard for you at the moment. I still can't imagine how you could think of others with what you have gone through. By nature I am not a talkative person (so if someone had responded already, I would probably withhold from putting in my 2 cents worth of input). Also when I am down I would probably turn within myself, become quiet and stay away, keep to myself until I can control my emotions.
I am glad to see you take one day at a time. I pray that you will fall pg again soon so that the lost you are feeling will lessen (I know that it might not ever go away).
Kahlan, it's funny in real life I feel like I don't want to socialise and find it hard working and being around people too much right now. Whereas on this site, I feel it's a safe place to be where people understand...I think I almost escape in here, when the outside world feels too hard...so I come in here and chat away
I guess as well, it helps me out so much, it's nice if I can offer any help back..and when it's too much I can just log off....shame we can't do that in rea life sometimes!
Kahlan, as far as I am aware DTD is safe unless you have a history of recurrent miscarriages. Your OB would be able to advise the best on whether to abstain or not. My DH and I did not DTD until after I finished on all my medication (I was on pessaries and estrogen until I was 10 weeks along). That was the only reason that we abstained - didn't like the thought of all those female hormones I was taking getting all over my lovely DH!
In regards to orgasms - I too have heard that they are good training for what your uterus needs to do during labour - so just think of them as a "necessary" part of your preparation for baby... the sacrifices we make
Hi Janie, Thanks for the advice... especially the orgasm bit. Don't mind sacrificing that a bit more. You must very relieved to be off the meds... I hated the crinone so I assume you would hate the pessaries as well.
Were you very nervous during the first few weeks? I freaked out with every little thing and had to google to find every bit of information. Hope this uneasiness wears off soon.
Hey Kahlan - I found for the first 10 weeks I felt like I was in a bit of a fog... My MS was bad enough that I just sort of "existed". I really couldn't think much at all which was probably a good thing (although not good for work!) Also the fact that we had a scan at 6 weeks 3 days and then our next scan was at 8 weeks really helped as I got to see that everything was okay on a regular basis. However, everytime something would crop up, no matter how small or stupid it seemed, I would call the MW's at my OB. They would always have useful tips or a reassuring word that helped me through. The MW's said to be very careful of the internet as there is a lot of information out there that is not 100% accurate - so if you have an OB - utilise them.
Probably the hardest time for me was going off all my supporting meds... I was petrified that they were all that had kept the pregnancy going.
The nervousness does lessen over time. Once you reach that magical 12 weeks you really do breath a sigh of relief. However, from 12 weeks to 16 weeks was probably hard on my mind because the MS had gone away and I couldn't feel any movements - so one lot of worries was replaced with another! But I guess all this worrying is good preparation for the rest of our lives as parents!
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I think, as long as its gentle IYKWIM, it shouldn't hurt the baby. They feel what you feel, so it could only make them feel good, right?
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DTD once pg
but I felt much better in waiting (for both the mc's, even though they werent caused by DTD the bleeding started after DTD so it was more of a mental thing).
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