After DD1 was born I guess I naively thought her full time breastfeeding, no AF return etc would give me some space. Given my age when she was born (37) and previous history of losses we decided to try again quickly, and would have aimed for a gap of about 18 months. My uterus thought otherwise and I ended up with a 12 month gap. Far from ideal, and like you have said, I was pretty horrified looking at those 2 lines and throughout my entire pregnancy.

After issues with DD2 it has taken until the beginning of this year for me to be ready to try for #3. 4 losses later I am now pregnant with what is hopefully my "bring home" baby. Again, not the ideal age gap but it is what it is.

I honestly think if you have fertility issues then like Lairdoz says, you need to weigh up the desire for another child over the ability to actually choose when that child will be in your arms. While I had an awful time throughout pregnancy with DD2 and beyond, the thought of me having missed the opportunity to have her, and now #3 because I waited for a more appropriate time is not worth thinking about. I consider myself extremely fortunate to have the children I do, ideal gaps or not.