The return of AF this month at 5 and a half months PP has triggered all of these thoughts for me, so bare with me while I muddle through this (block of choccie in hand!).

For those who have known fertility issues (as in, they're not going to change or improve, only decline over time), how did you find the balance between the age gap you wanted for your children, and your infertility? Did you decide to TTC earlier than you would have otherwise?

To be honest I'd be horrified to have another baby right now. I don't particularly like the idea of two babies at once, DH and I had always wanted a 3 year gap minimum. And we want three children, before we're 30. Well, that's what we'd planned before we started TTC. Now we get that we have pretty much no control over conceiving when it suits us. A big part of me just wants to wait the three years and then try like we planned...but a smaller part of me keeps saying, what if it takes you two years again? Or worse, longer? My blocked tube, my scarred uterus, my PCO and possible endo, DH's mutated sperm...they're all screaming out at me, "start trying in 6 months!" And the part of me that had everything planned out so neatly, so hopefully, pre-TTC is screaming "NO! Didn't you listen in sex ED?? You'll get pregnant with triplets IMMEDIATELY!".

How did you decide when to TTC, and how much weight did your fertility issues weigh in on it? I feel more and more like I just have to let my expectations go and resign myself to the fact that I'm not one of those women who can control when (or if) I'll conceive.