Warning...very long ME post (oh how surprising Murph!!!) so Neptune, go and get a cuppa if you are going to read, otherwise I'd really advise just skipping this one

the reason I had time to write it is because it's cut and pasted in parts from a letter I wrote to my sister and I know a lot of you guys want to know what's happening so here it is. If you don't know me, seriously, skip this post.

...I didn't tell you that I was told that we face all kinds of delays with Jasmine's treatment now that we are in the S.A system. they are really conservative and the earliest they do implants is 9 months in very extreme cases and only 1 at a time and only do 2 if funding permits, and only if the waiting list for other first implants isn't too long. They also never do the 2nd one before 18 months, so welcome to the dark ages. I nearly had my second ever cry over jasmine's hearing loss but it was more out of frustration. I didn't though, I kind of just stuck my head in the sand (which is unlike me, but it was just too hard to think about) and luckily I didn't get long enough to think about it with the distraction of traveling down and moving in.

Anyway, I got a phone call from the cochlear doctor in melbourne today and they are meeting on thurday to discuss our case. Private insurance would have her in there by 6 months old provided we agree to do all the testing and work-ups there over the next few months only of couse now we don't know if we are covered or if they will say her condition was pre existing. We took out the insurance when she was 2 days old so some legal loop holes will probably say we knew even though she wasn't diagnosed til she was 3 weeks old. I tell you this is becoming my full time job and I am really earning my carer's allowance chasing all these people. On Friday i spent half the day on the phone trying to get us covered by a patient travel scheme to cover my costs of taking jasmine to Adelaide for treatment and hearing aid moulds every 2 - 4 weeks and various other visits but it was explained that Audiology is not covered under any patient travel scheme and unless I can really get some appointments lined up through a specialist on the same day, I won't be covered for driving 52 km to the ferry, which costs $168 on a cheap day, then drive another 2 hours to get to Adelaide and overnight there. And my application for carer's payment was refused on the grounds that Jasmine doesn't require enough assistance. Insert "f" words. Grrrr. I've got an application in for a one-off carer allowance adjustment which can be up to $10 000 but it's been in the system for over 12 weeks and I have had about 4 phone calls telling me that I need to apply for another benefit before I get that one, have jumped through all their hoops, been turned down on 3 of them and I'm kind of seeing the whole thing as a big fat joke and will be extremenly surprised if I ever get a cent. Sometimes things are just really damn ****ty but I know they could be worse. Still it's okay to whinge about your lot even when someone is worse off, and look how much better I've made you feel

The upside to all my woes is that once jasmine starts down the road to implants, and sees specialists and has all that treatment, she will be covered under the patient travel scheme and flying, driving, mileage and accomodation will be organised and paid for. I just have to get a bit creative and book some other appointments on the days of the therapy sessions until then. Starting now!..."

Now,as for you lot. i do a lot of discussing your iss-ues with my dear old DH over tea... god keep up man, I have to re introduce you every time I want to tell a story. It's like it's not central in his life or something and it's very inconvenient having to pick bits out to remind him before I can hit my stride. so last night it was the Grub and that decision story. Luckily he knows who Grub is. That's a really hard one but I came up with a good bit of advice for you yesterday, quite by accident. Wait til he's got teeth!! Jasmine bit me..THERE yesterday with her brand new teeth. Holy ouch mumma. I remembered earlier reading and told her firmly.."No"! like she was a puppy. DH reminded me she was deaf so I gave her until she turned 5 months old until I would flick her on the nose. Oh waddya know, look who turned 5 months old today!!

Oh and look who is just waking up. Green, we have also been stuck witht he decision about what to do with our one lonely frosty and the whole thing about ever putting me through the birth thing again and our age so I know where you are coming from. It's just that is potentially a whole jazzy in that one little emby and it's the hardest decision to make. I just keep paying for storage and I have only just decided recently to destroy it. I know everyone has their own ethics but my decision is not to have another one of DH's and my own DNA walking around and not knowing them. If we ever go into IVF again, going with one egg is pretty low odds so we would just start off fresh rather than paying to keep one we may never use. We fertilised 14 out of 17 in that first cycle, so the problem for us is my body.

Grub, my huge clucky stage came at about 2 months too. My sister told me to wait about two years and I would think of going through it again, but she lied, it was way earlier! We are making no plans (i.e head in the sand) like some of you are too.

Neptune, how is that lovely pup of yours?

Oh and huge big fat welcome to BOC. Tell us all about your wee little bloke Jagger. How cute. Welcome and enjoy being part of this incredible head spinning time.

BDT, I never knew what people meantby the term "good baby" until jazzy started to sleep for 12 hours each night and doesn't get reflux or fuss or cry much. I guess that's what a good baby is and sounds like you got two so I hope you have a smooth ride (at least til it all changes again

Oh thanks all for the advice on my punch drunk baby. I was hoping that Briggsygirl and janie would weigh in with some advice and I know what you mean on the cloth nappies saving on bruising. She only had that face punching thing for a day and as I suspected, she was trying to control her hand to suck her thumb but too excited and unco like her old man

Gotta go, I am procrastinating big time. Seeya lovelies and hello to each and everyone of you today. My smiley icons aren't working or give you all a big wave.xox