Hi faye! Yes not long to go now, assuming baby cooperates lol. Should be 6 days. I went back to see the doc today add the cough is still lingering and have been given another course of antibiotics
*tmi alert* I have had a few days of coughing up some yucky stuff, not something I have eaten but it's like white lumps, totally gross! They want me to bring a sample even if it's just phlegm so they can check it out.
I am over being sick and coughing and the pelvic pain
A bit on me. I have adenomyosis, severe endo (just cleaned up), both ovaries had surgery, husband with abnormal sperm and undergone plenty of IVF (none successful). I was recovering from my second lap in Feb and I became pregnant naturally. Again. This is exactly what happened with my daughter who is 3.
I also have chronic back pain, which I can't seem to find any reliable treatment for, though I have plenty of good days, chronic anxiety and ongoing mood issues which also worsened heaps with the birth of my daughter. We were really scared to try for another but we thought we'd go for it, possibly thinking it might not happen and also that we would try to "do things differently" to help with all those issues, try to avoid it being quite so bad.
Also, we just sold our house and bought another house and we are due to move in June ....
So with that in mind ...
I start spotting on Monday, feeling terrible, really upset, start increasing progesterone support and go in for early dating scan. I did spot throughout first trimester with daughter, so I am not feeling shocking but still not great ...
So we go in for the scan. It's twins. Identical twins.
Still spotting now, some days worse than others. Have another scan on Tuesday. Any words of encouragement very welcome.
I'm here. Due in July. Had a pretty uneventful pregnancy though. Apart from feeling crap in first trimester. We moved house in march. So I feel pretty settled and much more comfortable about space. About to turn 30 weeks but still don't have much!
Exciting you are having twins! But scary with the bleeding xox FX it stops soon.
I think being pregnant after LTTTC is scary - I've spent most of the time expecting things to go wrong at every step. I hope things settle for you soon.
Hi, I forgot about this, and wow! I can join!!
With Spock I was actually reassured by our ltttc that it meant we had done the hard bit, faced our battles and that meant the pg would be fine and easy, and it was. With Quark I'm not so relaxed because our first fet worked! It seemed too easy, yes it was a lot of umming and ahhing to get to the tf if my body was ready etc... But I am still I awe it worked first go, which is making me wait for something to go wrong..
Wow worry wart!! Congrats on your babies!! Fx they are sticky strong ones and the spotting is nothing with it was with you dd. Hard not to stress though *hugs*
And 30weeks my turn! You go girl!! How is it all going? Have you set up bubs room etc yet?
We haven't done the baby's room at all!! But... Today we did finally buy the cot!
I have a family cradle that was made for my dad by my grandpa, and we went out to get sheets for it (I wanted to feel like I was setting things up a bit).... Saw a cot and change table set that converts ... DH said he liked it and it was the same one I have liked since my first visit to a baby shop at 13 weeks....
So it's on order, and DH will begin painting the room next weekend, hopefully it will be done pretty quick... And I should have it set up soon
Starting to feel real!!
I've been pretty well mostly. Just waiting in the GTT results from Thursday, as last weeks GCT came up high at 8.9. FX I don't have GD.... I keep expecting the worst though. It's kinda weird having such an uneventful pregnancy I feel like something is going to go wrong any minute.
Thanks MyTurn. Yes, it is really hard being pregnant after so many things "going wrong" with fertility. I am so thrilled for you that you've reached 30 weeks without too much pregnancy stress. Moving house is full on though. I think you'll have plenty of time to get it all sorted, though.
TT40, good to see you in here too. We are very close in our pregnancies.
AFM, the spotting has continued, some days better, some not better. It is hard. I had with my DD but it really was much less of a thing though went on and off throughout first trimester. I am seeing the OB tomorrow and he apparently has an ultrasound in his rooms, so hopefully we will get some good news there. If it continues as twin pregnancy, it is pretty full on in terms of potential complications, monitoring, delivery being quite early (so our sonographer said to expect it to be October rather than December ....). Just processing now.
Wow! Worry wort congratulations! Sorry I didn't get in here earlier to support you, I've been away.
I remember the day I found out I was having identicals like it was yesterday. I was completely overwhelmed. Excited - absolutely but shocked and scared all the same. I can relate to your feelings after the birth of your DD, I was fine after my two singletons, but not so much after the twins were born...
I had terrible PND but I won't go into that too much, because everyone is different and I don't want to upset or scare you! I had a horribly complicated pregnancy with the girls. We have twin to twin transfusion syndrome and lived in permanent fear of losing twin B. I went from not wanting twins, to being terrified of losing one. Not a good time in our lives....
The biggest mistake I made was focussing on everything but bringing two babies home. The cots, the clothes (I could open a shop), the linen, the matching blankets, the amazing pram (all the stuff that didn't really matter at all) I never really thought about what having two babies at once would be like, and I wish I had have.
My mum kept asking me how I felt, did we have a plan on how we would cope etc, I always said yes, but in reality, I just didn't think about it (I know that sounds ridiculous but it's true)... After they were born, I came home and they stayed in NICU and then the SCN for 3 weeks, even then I didn't really think about what it would be like when they came home. They were 7 weeks early and apart from being tiny, were in amazingly good health (we were so lucky). I battled along for 5 months, looking after them by myself (DH was here at night but at work during the day). It was tough. The sleep deprivation wore me down... And I didn't know how to ask for help. At 5.5 months my husband hired a full time live in nanny. She is still with us and they are almost 20 months old! The day she moved in I felt like I hated her. Like I was a failure. Like my babies would love her more than me..... In other words I was nuts
I went to hospital for 3 weeks to have a break. To sleep and eat and rest. I'm so embarrassed to say this, but I want you to know your not alone, and all of your feelings are normal and okay... I refused to see my girls for two weeks. I just couldn't face seeing them. That's when I knew that I had hit rock bottom and from that day on things started to improve.
Our angel of a nanny taught me how to love my girls. And she loved them for me, when I couldn't. When I came home she fed me, sat with me while I cried (which was every half an hour for days) and helped me look after the babies. If I'm honest - I probably helped her look after the babies. I always did the nights, which was possible because she carried the load during the day. Weekends I did and do days and nights with my DH.
They only started sleeping through about 8 weeks ago. And they are the hardest but most rewarding thing we have ever done. I truly believe twinnies are only sent to those who can cope, and you will, but don't be afraid to reach out for help! And definitely try and make a plan as to how you will look after them when they arrive!
During my pregnancy I had so much support! I worked full time and kept flying around the country for my work until 30 weeks, I worked until the night before they were born, against my Dr's advice... And because I saw my MFM every second day, I felt as though we were a team, and it never occurred to me that would change... But of course after they were bron, they got a Paed and I had no one as I was no longer pg and he WA no longer my Dr. Massive shock to the system!
So how are we now.... I couldn't imagine my life without my gorgeous girls. Our house is super busy! There are 7 of us under our roof, including my two DS who are 12 and almost 5 - and of course our amazing nanny! I know most people can't afford a nanny and I'll be honest, I didn't think we could either - but we just shuffled things around and learned to go without other things and we don't regret it for a moment. She gave us back our relationship and our sanity. And she helped make sure our boys don't miss out because of the twins.
I wish I had have worried less about the clothes, the fancy pram, the matching linen and shoes. I wish I had have considered what having two babies would actually be like and I wish I had have said I was scared - out aloud and not just in my head. Most of all, I wish that I had have not cared about what other people thought of me. I've learned not to care and it has been completely liberating.
And so here I am pregnant with number 5! Why, how am I an idiot?? No I don't think so.... My DH is pretty amazing and he always wanted 4 kids. He loves my DS from my first marriage like his own - and my ex is amazing with all the kids. We really are a "village"..... So why one final baby? Well it will sound silly I'm sure, but I really wanted to finish our family with one single bubba and I have learned so much and I wanted to put it to use I think it helps that we have an amazing angel in our house, who loves our children as her own.
That said, she has never tried to be their mummy. She knows there will only ever be one of those and that's me
But she gives hugs freely when my arms are full, and she hugs me - often. I'd be lost without her. For you that may be your mum or your mother in law... Someone, anyone who you can share the load with. I think all twin mummies need that from time to time.
WW I cant promise you it will be easy, buti have learned that nothing that's truly special and worth having - ever is (easy). I can't promise you though, that your twins will be the greatest gift you ever receive apart from your DD, who will always be your first greatest gift.
I hope that you don't read this post and feel afraid. I hope I am doing the right thing by posting... I wish someone had have told me about the hard parts, and not just the cute photos and matching outfits. If you ever want to talk or vent, I will be here for you. It's a pretty exclusive club being a twin mummy and unless you've got twins it can be hard to understand....
You are truly blessed to have been chosen to be a twin mummy. Try not to worry too much - whatever is going to happen, is going to happen regardless so all you can do is go with it. All you can do is your best and that is more than enough.
Sorry myturn and TT40 that this post is all about twins, doesn't mean I'm not super excited for you both and TT40 I'm really excited to be sharing the journey with you it's just that, I wish someone had have been going through or had been through what I was (miss kricket I am forever indebted still for all the love, support and advice you gave me and your still my hero)....
WW if your identicals are girls.... I have so much matching clothing with tags still on, that you are welcome too! I should have shares in Country Road I reckon I'm secretly desperately hoping this bubba is a blue package, mainly because my girls are so so close, that I cannot imagine another girl ever fitting into their world. They are the centre of each others universes and I can't ever imagine that changing!
If it had one piece of advice,it would be to go with a dr now that specializes in high risk twin or triplet pregnancies. That way if you have any complications (and I pray that you won't) then they will be able to deal with them, themselves. Someone with TTTS experience may be a bonus as there is only about 5 of them in Australia, and there is a good one in Melbourne I believe. I initially saw a fabulous OB, but he told me a twin pg wasn't that different to a singleton etc (bollocks) plus it helps if your care giver can scan themselves in their rooms, which I think you mentioned your Dr could?
The only other thing I would mention is the cost. Between the first appointment we had with the MFM and delivery, he cost us $22k! This included the $2500 management fee - but the cost of seeing him 2 to 3 times per week and 4 scans per week added up. Deep down I think this is why I worked for so long..... But I don't recommend doing that either! Most of all just do what's right for you. I know that my experience will not be yours, I just wanted you to know that it's not all sweetness and light - it's just that most people aren't honest about the tough bits. I wish you all the live and luck in the world.
TTL something about your post is beautiful - even though it's obviously been such a hard road for you. You have made me teary, but not in a bad way - in a beautiful, amazing and inspiring way. I think your journey is something we can all learn from - twins or not xoxox
Oh myturn thank you so much - your post made me cry, but in a good way.
Into be honest, I wasnt sure when I was writing my post, that I was doing the right thing. The last thing I would ever want to do is upset anyone, especially WW. Buti felt an overwhelming need to share my journey - mainly because when I was having my twins, I felt as though everyone else who was having or had already had twins - had found it really easy. Or at least that's what I thought...
There were a couple of amazing mummers that already had one or two kids when their twins were born - and somehow they managed to look after all of their children (including their twins) by themselves (with their DH).... I wasn't able to do this, it was just all too much for me.
I wanted WW and anyone else who visited here, to know that it's okay if it doesn't turn out to be something you can do all by yourself. I couldn't and I spent months hating myself for being what I thought was a failure as a mummy and friend and wife. I now know that I was normal and if sharing my story (even though it's a little bit embarrassing) helps someone else, then it will be completely worthwhile in posting it.
Myturn - I'm so excited you are 30 weeks! You are absolutely glowing in your FB pics... I am so excited for you that it's not long now until you meet your long awaited bubba I think you are justbgoing to make the most beautiful and amazing mummy. And I am so thrilled for you. I remember feeling as though the best thing about making 30 weeks is feeling as though if the baby was born now, he or she would be okay. I was always able to 'relax' from 30 weeks onwards and enjoy the rest of the pregnancy I hope you are feeling the same.
I have everything crossed for you that GD doesn't become and issue for you - I'm sure it won't
One of the best parts of pregnancy for me is BB. Being able to share the journey with amazing women like you! So thank you for having me and making me feel welcome, accepted and "normal"...
AFM - after not being able to have the recommended BT's for the last 11 days because we have been away, I had a BT yesterday and my hcg levels were 48,000 (based on my previous BT levels before we went away, my FS had said anything over 20,000 would be fantastic) after yesterday's results he has said no more BT's which I am a little surprised about because he told me we would be doing BT's for another 10 days, every 3 days (so another 3 x BT's prior to having a dating scan). My FS personally called me yesterday - after the clinic had called me with the BT results and he wants me to go into his rooms for a scan this coming Thursday - which is also a week earlier than he had initially discussed. He didn't beat around the bush, he said based on our previous one and only IVF cycle, which was a FET where we had one blastie transferred and ended up with identical twins - (my hcg levels were lower on the same day in that cycle, than they were yesterday on the same day in this cycle) he said he wants to do the scan early to check "whether there is one or two in there"!!!!!!
I am moderately freaked out. Before having one blastie transferred this cycle - my DH and I did discuss what would happen if we ended up with identicals again... Tbh, I kind of didn't really think about it seriously, knowing that it is still pretty rare to conceive identical twins, from a single transfer. I just kind of thought, there is no way litening would strike in the same place twice. My gut is telling me there is only one baby in there (because I still just don't think could end up with identical twins again) - but since yesterday's results, my DH seems to think there is a possibility there will be two in there! He just said "all I will say is that I won't be super surprised if it happens again, mainly because the blastie we transferred is from the same batch of embies as the girls". When we were considering trying for a final baby, our FS said there was no increased risk of having another set of identicals - just because we had already had one set and the blasts were from the same 'batch' of harvested embies, he said scientifically there was no additional increased risk (outside of the normal chance of having a slightly increased chance of multiples from IVF.
If it is twins again, I will be completely blown away. To be completely honest as much as we adore our twins, I don't think we could cope with another set. My DH and I agreed before we started trying, that there is no way we would selectively reduce one of a set of identical twins - our FS said this would be an option if we wanted to consider it as my body would find it hard to carry twins again (the last pg took a massive toll on my body from a physical pov). But watching our identicals together now, we know there is no way we could consider robbing one of their identical brother or sister... Anyway I am sure I am worrying about nothing! I still believe lightening doesn't strike in the same place twice - and the odds of having another set of twins must be pretty unlikely. Although as DH says "stranger things have happened". I cannot imagine how we would cope with another set of twins - the cost alone would be overwhelming (we would have to move house and get a new car again - for the second time in 2 years!). Anyway, sorry to end with the all about me post.... Especially when I am worrying about something that is purely hypothetical! I feel as though I am wasting your time, reading about something that is unlikely to happen!
Can I ask before I go.... Myturn do you have any gut feelings about the sex of your bubba? As it's your first I'm guessing as long as he or she is healthy you don't mind at all whether it's a boy or girl? Likewise, TT40 do you have any gut feelings aboutthe sex of this bubba? And finally, WW - as you are having identicals (and I must say, I really am so so excited for you - do you have any intuitive feelings about the sex of your bubbas?
I think I've already said I am hoping for a boy (although of course as long as it is healthy and safe we would be happy with either) - but as of just yesterday, I have a gut feeling it is a boy. Only because I had Hyperemisis with my first DS (vomited 20 times per day for the entire pg - until one week AFTER he was born), also had pretty bad ms with my second son (now almost 5), but with the twinnies (girls) I had much less nausea/ vomiting.... But with this pg - the nausea started about a week ago and I have been vomiting a few times per day for the last 4 or so days... This is leading me to think it may be a blue 'package' but it could just be that my hcg is on the high side, and nothing to do with baby's sex (in other words just wishful thinking We have decided once again to find out the sex - just so we can be better prepared with the nursery and clothes etc.... Is anyone else planning on finding out the sex?
Ttl, share as much as you want, thats what this place is for!
Both dh and i know the srx of this bub. We did before we even concieved. Sh was spot on woth Spock, and. He is actually really intuitive like that. So when he said what he thought, and ive had multiple dreams whilst pg and bedore, we are convinced we know. We wont be finding out though, and ill be curious to see if this pg is different or the same as before.
Aww ttl. Thanks. I'm feeling pretty good now - as you say passing 30 weeks definitely felt good.
Got the test results back - no GD here
I felt like I win the lottery I was so glad. Lmao.
We didn't fine out the sex but I have always kind of thought it is a boy. Only lately have I started to think it might be a girl. Of course I'll be happy either way (although secretly I would love a girl for me - DH already has a girl though, so I'd like a boy for him - thing is if we only have 1 I would like it to be a girl cause I don't HAVE to go back for a boy - but if we have a boy I would feel much more like I want to keep trying for a girl). Anyway whatever will be will be
Ps. I'm sure you would cope if it was twins again - there might be the initial shock and grief - but you've proven you can get there - Albiet with help - but you still made it through! And you have more skills now - you know what you need and what is normal - struggling is normal!!
My FS/OB never got me to have more BTs than the first one! I thought it was weird but as they were so happy originally I didn't have to do any more unless I started bleeding or something. Which I never did. There was so much less when I got BFP this time compared to last time which ended in miscarriage.
TTL, thank you so much for your post. I am actually thinking of printing it out and studying it. I really appreciate your honesty and courage in sharing what you went through, and believe me, I really can empathise.
I "failed" with my daughter too. As in, that was the story I told myself. It was 4 long years of TTC with IVF and a lap and she came on her own, and I was completely fixated on natural birth and breastfeeding and that this was going to be the most meaningful thing I'd ever done, and I am very independent, love working ALONE and do NOT get on with my mum or MIL. Awesome set up. Also, I have a structural problem with my back, long term chronic back pain, mood issues/anxiety.
So after DD arrived via C-section after long labour and had to be weaned at 3 months due to chronic thrush/back pain, it got so bad that I couldn't pick her up and there was a roster and people came every day to help. Soon, everything began to collapse - mood, sleep and just my health. I just could not manage. I also had a stay at the hospital, at the mother baby unit, two stays I think. This was when she was nearly 1 year old. It wasn't only PND, it was major depression and this pain issue, and I still haven't found anyone who really can help with this constellation of issues. Back then, at the hospital, the nurses wouldn't lift her, so I just cried and cried until my husband came in each day. If you have pain issues and psych issues, where do you go? Because staff generally won't lift. I had this recently at the Children's. My daughter had a UTI and I wanted to stay with her, only one parent could stay, and I did, even though I knew they couldn't help me take her to the toilet (my daughter is a big 3 year old, maybe 17 kilos and tall, and I am a petite person with a broken back!).
Anyway, I just wanted to share a bit of my own story though I don't need to dwell on it. You can imagine how terrified I am of having two babies at the one time. I have considered "reducing" one, because I am not sure if it responsible for me to do this - maybe not for my own mental and physical health, nor for my husband's, daughter's and unborn kids, if they arrive. But I don't want to do that at all. Not at all. I just will have to keep practising my mindfulness and being open to others' different styles of parenting my children, and I am really thinking a lot about what you said about the nanny, and it is the one thing that is making me feel slightly better, though I need to know more about the cost. Because my mum simply cannot live with me and my husband. She is a loving, caring person, but she is incredibly exhausting, talks "at" you the entire time, doesn't read social cues, and really struggles with her own mood and energy issues (she is someone who is happiest with a glass of champagne on the couch!aren't we all??).
Okay I have typed enough. Plus I can't sit at the computer long. This is a big deal for me. If ever I don't post, it's simply a matter that I am resting my back.
Keep us posted on your scan results on Thursday, TTL. The levels are obviously high. Say no more.
myturn, good to hear no GD. That test is gross.
TT40, will you say what you guys think it might be?
I am just over 4weeks pregnant with what I hope will be baby no 4. Very nervous as I have had 5 losses over the past 5years. 3 before number 3 and another 2 last year. As it took 2.5years to get one to stick last time we didn't prevent after DD's birth early 2011. I'm very nervous this one wont stick either.
Anyway I wasn't ready to officially join but just wanted to reply to WW on the costs of a nanny. There are multiple midwives where I work that employ live in nannies (Aupairs) they are all young women who come to work from overseas to save some $$ to travel. Most only stay for a year. The people I know pay them $200 a week but you also need to feed them, house them and provide a car. I'm not sure how much "time off" they get. One friends nanny still does some bar work on weekends. She also cooks, cleans and does a lot more than she has to do.
I'll be crossing everything it's a sticky one mildez!
I got a friend who has an au pair and it works well for them, they have 4 kids, with three under 4 (twins as well) and it works out much better financially than having to pay for childcare.
Same my turn. My friend has 4 kids and uses an au pair, 2 of her kids are in school, but the youngest is one. And they have been using them for years (they get a new one each year because they use people on a gap year, similar to us Aussies going to the uk to work in pubs, they come here and work as nannies). But they have been great, and half the price of child care)
Re: Pregnancy after LT TTC #21
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