in all honesty, i tried "nice" before DD arrived, and it didn't work. People in general just don't THINK before they speak. oh, you're married, you must want to have a child. Oh, you have one, you must be ready for another one (before baby number one is even clean from being born!) - i know in some cases it's just thoughtless chatter, but in cases like Mako's, it can be downright cruel, even if not intended that way

if defensive/abrupt/rude gets people to actually think before saying something stupid even once, maybe it's worked...