Reply With QuoteMeredith, congratulations on the BFP I will be keeping all my fingers and toes crossed for you hun. Those numbers sound great BTW.
BellyBelly Member
6th pregnancy..terrified!(updated to prob over already)
Just found out last week i got a BFP from my most recent IVF cycle.
This is my 6th pregnancy but i only have one very special DS and 6 angels to show for it.
I just can't help feel so terrified about this one. Every other time i have tried to feel positive that it was going to all be ok only to be crushed when things went wrong.
I felt really negative about this IVF cycle but somehow have actually got as far as pregnant. But I still have a really bad feeling about it and just don't know if I can take another loss, I think it will destroy me... I am sooo scared
My first HCG at 11dp 5day ET (16dpo) was 525 and yesterday (20dpo) was 3600. Numbers sound fine but for me, are actually much lower than with any other pevious pg (even my singletons). Can't help my mind from stressing over this.I am on prednisolone,for the first time this pregnancy plus clexane which i have used before. Praying they do somehing for this bubba
Don't know what i wanted to get out of this post. Just wanting to vent I guess.
I thought the TWW was bad enough but now i have the 7ww to get to 12weeks with endless TPP ( toilet paper paranoia), overanalsing symptoms ( or lack thereof).
Just wish I could go back to the naive joy of just being pg and simply expecting there would be a baby at the end of it all.
Meredith, congratulations on the BFP I will be keeping all my fingers and toes crossed for you hun. Those numbers sound great BTW.
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I wish we could all go back to that naivety. But here we are. Together. And together we understand how you feel, the additional costs (including the cost of toilet paper) and the stress waiting for the next milestone to pass so you can worry about the next one.
Vent away. It is a torture I am happy to hold your hand through (unfortunately cyber only) and you know I will be there every step. You know the drill - each pregnancy has different levels, they are perfectly normal. But it doesn't really help to be told and it doesn't make you worry any less. Come September / October I will be thrilled to read your birth announcement
P.S. No idea if this makes any sense at all - sleep deprivation has kicked in and robbed me of coherent speech
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:stickyvibes: :babydust: Oh hun i wish you all the best for the future. IO know its easy ot say but try to relax and be positive. i really hope that this one sticks for you... HUGS
BellyBelly Member
Thanks ladies, especially Michelle... I know you do watch over me from afar and that is so lovely of you.
Just wish I felt some joy about this pregnancy. The only positive I feel is relief that at least I don't have to go straight back into IVF ( at least for now).
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The joy will come. Even if you don't feel it now, try to make memories of this pregnancy that you can reflect on when the stress has left. And that may be after the baby arrives. I don't think I ever really felt joy during my pregnancies despite loving being pregnant. I miss not having felt brave enough to live in the moment and enjoy each positive rather than worry about the potential negatives and the what ifs. There were good moments but I still think they were overshadowed by the fear.
Talk away. Having your fears out in the open often makes them less overwhelming than tucked away in your head
Congratulations Meredith
I understand only too well - there are many of us who can never return to that beautiful naivete that we once were with regard to pregnancy. But you have us all here - even if from afar holding your hand and truly, gutwrenchingly understanding you.
My only advice is to live truly in the moment. Those numbers are great (much much much higher than mine with Immy) - they are doubling. Today you are pregnant. I pray and hope that this pregnancy gives you that much awaited sister or brother for your little boy.
Join us in the threads, let us support you and I am sending you so much love and support...
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Congratulations on your pregnancy. I pray that your precious bub is a sticky one.
Deanne.
P.S. Congrats also on recieving a RAK
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congrats! i know what u mean about the toilet paper thing im STILL doing it! i dont think i will stop either! its hard but only time will tell, ahhh i hate the wait! maybe morning sickness will help u buy the time like it does with me!
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A huge congratulations to you guys!!! I am so over the moon for you.
I will pray and pray that this baby will arrive safely in your arms xx
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Meredith, I often think of you and love to hear how you are going - you stick in my mind because our boys have the same name
I am so utterly thrilled to hear you are pregnant - congratulations!!!
I will pray hard that this baby comes home. There are so many of us that understand the fear you are feeling. I can't say it any better than Michelle or Deb have, but know that you aren't alone
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Meredith, I followed you during the TWW and was so happy to hear that you got a BFP.
Although the long road has only started for you Ithat this one is nice and sticky for you.
I hear you on the TPP to this day I still check almost with a magnify glass.
I think it is only natural for you to feel this way with everything that had happened we would all be the same and you. I truly take my hat of to you as you are so strong to still be standing after the sad year you had last year.
Sending you truck loads of
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Oh Meredith, I'm so happy to see you in here again... but having seen just part of your journey I can only imagine the mixed feelings you must have. Sending you huge hugs
and maybe a new blessing to go with it... "may your toilet paper be unmarked, and your pale coloured underwear be pristine!"
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Belfie - I think I may have to use that in future
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What a great saying,and maybe a new blessing to go with it... "may your toilet paper be unmarked, and your pale coloured underwear be pristine!"
Fingers crossed that this little one sticks around. I can't imagine how you must be feeling, I hope with every I have you will be able to celebrate this ones arrival.
Take care and try and stay positive. Best wishes.
BellyBelly Member
Looks like it might be over already. Only had a blood test yesterday which showed another good HCG rise (up to 20,521 from 3600 on Mon and prog at 1100) and was feeling physically ok. Less crampy than usual in pg.
Today, however, the bubble has totally burst. Having HEAVY bleeding and cramping. I am 5w4d which is almost exactly the same day that things started going haywire last pg. I am highly unlikely to m/c naturally ( never have before) and I truly don't think i can go through the hell of repeated scans, D&Cs etc etc all over again.
Of course I always knew its the risk you take falling pg again but I just had to keep believing it wouldn't end ths way again. I truly don't know how to feel right now. I am soooooo gutted but also feel a bit stupid for thinking this one would work any better than the others. Guess the prednisolone is not the answer for me so what's left? I just can't see how I can go on with a life without more kids. I don't think I will ever be happy again. Life is so crap and unfair. When is it going to be my turn???
BTW - I still don't really understand the whole RAK thingy but whoever did it, I am truly touched and I will post a better thankyou when I am more coherant
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Oh Meredith, I'm so sorry to hear it, sending you big hugs
And above all, you are NOT stupid! You are a brave, wonderful, courageous woman who has been trying so hard to follow her dream, please never ever think you're stupid for trying to cope with what has been thrown at you.
This quote seems to fit the bill: "Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." Christopher Robin to Pooh.
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