I am not really ok but coping to a degree. Another visit with OB yesterday - baby still alive which is something. OB still not overly optimisstic but did pressure me to book in my 12w scan which I am still not happy about ( feel its like a jinx).
Still having light bleeding which worries me but I guess to be expected given an entire baby/placenta etc came out. Also just can't shake the feeling of utter devastation at the loss of what looked like such a healthy bub. I got a peek at u/s report from the arvo just before disaster struck and the summary was "normal 8wk twin pregnancy"..... guess no one can predict anything in pg which only adds to my fear. It doesn't matter that baby was ok yesterday, he/she could be gone tomorrow with no warning!
DH doesn't get it at all how sad I am about losing twin 1 nor that the entire pg will be tinged with sadness even if things go ok. He got a bit cranky about it this morning and decided maybe it would be better to just lose remaining twin and start over. NOT what I want at all, I just want him to understand that having one remaining doesn't mean I am not deeply affected nor entitled to grieve over the baby we have lost. I know he can never feel the same way as me but he truly doesn't feel anything nor think I "should" be feeling like this either. And no, he is not just being a man and not showing true emotion, he admits he truly doesn't feel much. His thought is only that this actual pregnancy is still going so we haven't really "lost" it as a proper m/c yet.
No one close to me will ever get it either. I know i will only get the comments of "at least you still have one", "it must be for the best", "twins would have been to hard anyway, you're much better off".