Sparkles - awesome!! Good relish in your delight of the magic of this bub!

Maggie335 - welcome. Good to hear you're sick and 6 weeks. It's a hard road this one, as you know. You managed it twice before, you have the skills to manage this pg and to flourish! But here is the place you can come and share your fears, cause people who haven't been there, just don't ( and to be fair to them, they can't) understand.

TinaR - it's ironic that one of the most devastating things for me following Sophie's birth, was that I felt "phantom" flutters for ages. The phantoms robbed me of the joy I thought I had at the memories of the twins and then Sophie, fluttering and moving around. Now I doubt whether I will actually know and have confidence in any flutters and kicks until they become knockouts in this pg. Now I doubt whether in fact the feelings I had were bubsies, or just my whacked out digestive system. It's so sad to have that doubt, now, for both Nicholas and Sophie's pg and also this pg. I can understand why you get anxious.

AFM - well today was my darling Amelia's first anniversary. 23 Feb 2009; 14:28; 455grams; 27 cms; 21 weeks on the cusp of 22 weeks gest, our brown haired girl. I can't and don't think of it as her birthday. That just doesn't work for me.

Today, wasn't as hard as I thought it might be. I was more affected leading up to today than on today. DH took the day off work and I am not working( one week as of today!), so we slept in and snuggled ( no BD for me, way too scared) and then went for brunch and then a walk in the park and along the river. In the arvo we snuggled again, looked through our photos, shared some precious memories and listened to the songs we had played for the funeral service. In the end as sad as I am, the most significant memory for me today is just how much our precious girl was loved and how much she gave to us in those fleeting joyous but heartbreaking moments. I am so blessed to have been given such a precious gift. So today? DH and I honoured our baby girl by living, and remembering her. I had day reams of doing something more symbolic, but in the end, for me, it felt contrived.