Pregnancy after Miscarriage or Loss June 2010

[milly5]

Hi ladies!!

Tegam - we didn't really tell people officially until 16 weeks. We had told MIL & FIL at about 9weeks as they had come to help us with some heavy work - which of course I didn't do, so we told them why, but also that we didn't really want to tell people yet, which they were quite understanding.
I was vommiting quite a bit at work, so I think some people may have guessed, but I didn't tell them until about 16 weeks. And only then becasue I was showing!
I didn't officially tell my boss until about two weeks ago, though I had unofficially told her at 16 weeks because other people knew.
It's hard, because on one hand you do want to tell - even if only for the support should something go wrong, but on the other hand, I didn't want to tell, because I didn't want to talk about it incase I jinxed it.
It took me a while to get my head around that I was pg.
Then I got that I was pg, but couldn't quite get that there was a baby in there, IYKWIM (I know, sounds silly).
Then it was there is a baby in there, but that doesn't mean one will come out.....
It's really only now, this last couple of weeks, probably the last week or two, that I really feel like yes there is a baby in there, and yes there is a happy end to come! And now, I have an awful lot of nesting to catch up on!
I just wanted to send hugs - to all of you - and say yes it is hard to feel excited in the beginning. But I don't feel guilty for not being excited, just disappointed that there is a lot of happiness that I missed out on that I needn't have.

Angelfish - it is hard for partners who - I must say, while they have their own grief experience, they just don't get it - you can't blame yourself for what happened, so it is wrong to think that you caused it in anyway. Tell your b/f that that is not helpful!

Possummagic - I don't know anything about the progesterone, but am keeping everything crossed for you and hoping that your acorn sticks.

Dory - you didn't tell us about your hair??

HPL - you sound like me LOL. I am due Sept 10 and am working up to end August (I don't want to sit around waiting too long, but also, don't want Spud to arrive on my first day home! I have told Spud that while I am very anxious to meet him/her, I don't want to see him/her before September, so not until at least 1/9. (Oh and definately out by the 17th!) LOL. I am told that they can hear at this stage.... just not sure if they have a good grasp of language and time!!
And, my DH does that with the computer too!!!

Hi other Milly!

Hi Alice!

[angelfish]

Dory: no my partner told me that while he was yelling at me he is very uncompationate he does not understand that i am really tired right now and can't keep up with cleaning up after him and when his kids come to see him every three weeks he has been calling lazy.

My Dr is the one that has said that emotional stress will not cause a m/c that its the physcial stress is what i have to worry about due to me having a heart problem i have to worry about my heart rate getting to high or my blood suger getting to high. This baby is what i am worry about not my partner right now if i have to do this alone i will. His kids are bad last time i was pg and they found out his daughter who is 10 and wieghs 109 lbs jump on my lap so i have to worry about them. But enough of me rambling

good luck to everyone who has a scan coming up or a dr appt.
to everyone else you all are in my thoughts and prayers

[Tegam]

Tegam!! Lovely to see your name in here after all that you went through at the beginning of the year - hugs to you!

Thanks for remembering me Alice, yes it was a horrible start to the year but maybe a happy ending! Hi again!.

Hi ladies!!

Tegam - we didn't really tell people officially until 16 weeks. We had told MIL & FIL at about 9weeks as they had come to help us with some heavy work - which of course I didn't do, so we told them why, but also that we didn't really want to tell people yet, which they were quite understanding.
I was vommiting quite a bit at work, so I think some people may have guessed, but I didn't tell them until about 16 weeks. And only then becasue I was showing!
I didn't officially tell my boss until about two weeks ago, though I had unofficially told her at 16 weeks because other people knew.
It's hard, because on one hand you do want to tell - even if only for the support should something go wrong, but on the other hand, I didn't want to tell, because I didn't want to talk about it incase I jinxed it.
It took me a while to get my head around that I was pg.
Then I got that I was pg, but couldn't quite get that there was a baby in there, IYKWIM (I know, sounds silly).
Then it was there is a baby in there, but that doesn't mean one will come out.....
It's really only now, this last couple of weeks, probably the last week or two, that I really feel like yes there is a baby in there, and yes there is a happy end to come! And now, I have an awful lot of nesting to catch up on!
I just wanted to send hugs - to all of you - and say yes it is hard to feel excited in the beginning. But I don't feel guilty for not being excited, just disappointed that there is a lot of happiness that I missed out on that I needn't have.

I could not have said that all better myself, that is exactly how i feel. Thank you for taking the time to share!

Dory: no my partner told me that while he was yelling at me he is very uncompationate he does not understand that i am really tired right now and can't keep up with cleaning up after him and when his kids come to see him every three weeks he has been calling lazy.

My Dr is the one that has said that emotional stress will not cause a m/c that its the physcial stress is what i have to worry about due to me having a heart problem i have to worry about my heart rate getting to high or my blood suger getting to high. This baby is what i am worry about not my partner right now if i have to do this alone i will. His kids are bad last time i was pg and they found out his daughter who is 10 and wieghs 109 lbs jump on my lap so i have to worry about them. But enough of me rambling

good luck to everyone who has a scan coming up or a dr appt.
to everyone else you all are in my thoughts and prayers

Sounds like you dont have a lot of support. Hugs honey and remember you can only do your best!


AFM! 12 weeks today... 3 sleeps til scan!

[luna moth]

woohoo Tegam for 3 sleeps til scan! Yaaaaay! It's weird, that feeling at 12 weeks, do you reckon? Liek you know you've hit a milestone, but until the scan, you kinda haven't? Both times, I have loved the quiet achievement of it.

milly - my birthday is September 17th. It is a GREAT day to be born. 10th is also quite good really. 10/9/10. That would be a great birth date.

I am SO tired! Slowly catching up on the housework I couldn't do while spewy. Can't quite face cleaning the oven though... might wait til mat leave for that. 5 weeks to go!

[possum magic]

Hi everyone, sorry but not feeling up to persies. Still bleeding heavily and have had a number of clots now (sorry if TMI). Dr was able to see a clot on my scan earlier this week (away from where baby is) so it is possible i suppose that that is what is passing now but i think it's far more likely that i have miscarried. I won't know for sure until i see my OB on Wed. I don't see any point in going earlier. I'm hoping that if i give it a bit more time it will be over one way or the other; either the m/c will be complete and i can move on or the bleeding will stop and baby will be fine. I just can't bear this 'in between' of feeling doomed but baby still being there (if it's all just going to finish anyway, like last time). So i'm hoping that if i wait til Wed it will have reached some sort of resolution.

Dory, think i'll hold off on that ticker a bit longer after all

I feel like i don't want to post too much and bring everyone down so i'll let you know how it goes on Wednesday but maybe just lurk until then.

Mummy of 4: thanks for sharing your experience. It's good to know that some bleeding can be ok in the end, even if it goes on for a bit.

Good luck to everyone having scans the next few days.

[Hope.Positive.Love]

possum magic: my heart goes out to you sweetie... I have everything humanly possibly crossed for you, this could be some common bleeding and nothing at all like mo4... I know it's hard right now but try and stay positive, have all your support people around you and try not think of the worst...

We are all here for you, you post whatever you want whenever you want, we have all been there before and we will support you no matter what....

All my love and support.... xoxoxox

[Tegam]

Hi everyone, sorry but not feeling up to persies. Still bleeding heavily and have had a number of clots now (sorry if TMI). Dr was able to see a clot on my scan earlier this week (away from where baby is) so it is possible i suppose that that is what is passing now but i think it's far more likely that i have miscarried. I won't know for sure until i see my OB on Wed. I don't see any point in going earlier. I'm hoping that if i give it a bit more time it will be over one way or the other; either the m/c will be complete and i can move on or the bleeding will stop and baby will be fine. I just can't bear this 'in between' of feeling doomed but baby still being there (if it's all just going to finish anyway, like last time). So i'm hoping that if i wait til Wed it will have reached some sort of resolution.

I feel like i don't want to post too much and bring everyone down so i'll let you know how it goes on Wednesday but maybe just lurk until then.

I understand that you would like it to be over one way or the other on wednesday. I think that this in the middle bit must be the hardest time! Please please please dont not post, you arent bringing us all down. Isnt this exactly what this thread is for?
Huge hugs and Hoping for good news on wednesday!

[KitFaerie]

I have such good news, lol. Had my scan yesterday and Tiger is just perfect, was measuring smack bang on 11 weeks and 1 day and heartrate of 165. The tech said we had an extremely healthy baby cos 'sick babies don't dance like that' LOL! Tiger was jigging around like anything, DH was talking to him to see if Tiger would move when he spoke. And it appears we may be having a little boy! The tech said he wouldn't count on it though, cos girl bits can be enlarged to look like boy bits, but when he looked at Tiger's feet, Tiger did a full on leg spread and showed off his bits, and from side on there definitely appeared to be a little bit of a willy. I feel so ridiculously incredibly relieved, keep looking at the pics, it reminds me of getting the BFP and I kept looking at the stick, like the baby lived in the stick and not in my belly! MS is starting to leave the building too, I actually wanted food today, just a cheese and tomato toastie, but I ate it and then didn't feel sick. Slowly starting to sink in that I'm gonna be bringing this baby home.

[Tegam]

KIT Are you in a bellybuddies group yet? When are you due? We may be just a bit apart of the groups! So happy for you and now you know its time for a TICKER!

[Hoping]

Possum magic - my thoughts go out to you in this difficult time. I agree with the others this forum is a great place to express your fears and concerns we've all been there before so please if you need to post please do.

Kit - congrats on your exciting news its so great to get the all clear at that first big scan. My husband was so excited when we found out our first child was a little boy, i think his exact words to the tech was 'is that a willy?'

[Iona Macca]

Possum - will be thinking of you all week until wed and hoping that there is good news xoxox

Kit - OMG yay that is such awesome news....so glad that tiger is so active

[KitFaerie]

Holy crap Possum, just went back through the posts! Darling I'm so sorry, it's so freaking scary! I had that big bleed and it was clotty, then dates were out by 5 days and tiger had a slow heartbeat at 6 weeks, the tech then (grrrr) basically told me to prepare to miscarry, and everything has turned out to be ok. For all the women that have scary stuff happen, there will be lots who will be ok, there is no reason why you wouldn't be in the ok group. Thinking of you hon xo

[Alice]

Congrats on your scan Kit!! That's great news - hope you can relax a bit now and enjoy this special time xx

Possum - thinking of you and hoping this is just a rough start to the pg and that all will be well. Good luck for Wed

[eliselouise]

Possum will be thinking of you on wednesday hun and hope that your scan shows that everything is ok. Feel free to post whateva you like we wont be brought down by it one little bit.
Kit i am so happy for you hun, you deserve it (as do we all). Glad to hear that tiger was so active, isnt it just the best thing to see, mine was very active at the 12 week scan too, jumping around like a little jack rabbit.
Audax glad to hear your feeling better and catching up on the housework. Im starting to get really tired now too and am counting down till maternity leave 4 weeks WOO HOO
Tegam good luck with the scan, im sure all will be perfect for you
Angelfish sorry to hear your having a tough time at home at the moment. My DP doesnt quite understand that im getting very tired now and that i cant do everything i used to, he also just thinks im lazy at times but im slowly getting it through to him.. Is there anyone else who can casually talk to him and tell him that when your pregnant you get very tired. I found that has helped with my sis and BIL saying it to my DP. Hope you can sort it out hun
Hello milly5, millyd, dory, HPL, Iona, alice, hoping and anyone else i have missed.
AFM im not too bad having a bit of a downer at the moment, combination of having to go back to work after a week off and just wanting to meet this little one. I know its still too early but just want the next 8 weeks to come and go and meet our little man. All i feel like doing at the moment is crying and just curling up on the couch but im sure ill snap out of it soon and everything will be fine. Anyway sorry for the whinge ladies but i know you are always here to listen.
Take care all

[angelfish]

eliselousie no there is no one that can really talk to him at all he is think headed. He thought the same way about his ex wife when she was pg with his other two kids he wants me to start doing exercises so that i can have the stami to do what i need to do. I swear i want to hit him ( not reall) along side the head and remind him that i was told by the ob that i am in a high risk pregnancy and that i need to rest when i need to i have heart problems also right now i am just blocking him out when i try to rest he trys to do everything possible to wake me up.

tegam i have no support what so ever i feel like i am doing this all alone this board is the only support i have

possum Hun i am so sorry to hear what is going on my heart goes out to you. Hoping everything goes good for you on wes with your scan. And it not bringing everyone down with your post people on here care and its a support board if you need to post then post hun.

Kit I am so happy to hear that your scan went great and tiger was jumping around.

AFM I go in for my us on monday i am so scared that i am going to get bad news. I will be going alone. My b/f kids will be here in a week and a half i am not looking forward to them being here i know it sounds selfish but they dont understand either why i am so tired they will be here for a week. They are not the best behaved kids and its always so stressful when they are here.

[ashie]

well i got my hcg levels back, at 4 weeks and 5 days they were 760! i am so happy thats a great number! even nurse said no to worry that good numbers mean that this bub is looking very viable! now i can book an u/s for next week or the week after.
hcg should of doubled since saturday, i am still shakey i think this bub is sticking! other thing is af is only late by a week, and i didnt think hcg would be this high! i am so excited feel like jumping all around the place. and i need reassurance that 760 is a good number at 4 weeks and 5 days!

[millyd]

Possum my heart goes out to you darling, hoping all is ok and its just the clot that ob saw the first scan.... xxxxxx
Elise loving thoughts fro you too sweetie you deerve to be cradled and loved through this time. Good on you for blocking it out xx you rest whenever you can and feel like it xx
Ashie I think those numbers sound great, I'm no obstetrician, but if it were me I would be happy xx
Kit woohoo for Tiger!!!! good name for an active little pouncer xx
Angelfish blessings to you, its so hard doing these things by ourseleves, in saying that my husband came with me lasttime having missed the previous two scans that both turned out to be miscarriages...very sad...anyway he comes to this one and it was all good and bubs was doing really well but I have to admit it was more stressful having him there lol...they cany win poor things. As for his chn, lay down your rules when tey get there in a loving way and express that each day there is quiet time between this time and this...they could be rewarded for respecting this.
Dory how are you darling?? must be scooting along now :0)
Special hello to Iona, good to see you in here sweetie, how are you, whats happening with you?? I missed a week of postings and need to catch up xxx
Hi to Alice, milly5, teagam, mo4 and all the other beauties I missed
love and big belly rubs xxx

[T-hopes]

Kit - Congrats on the scan darlin! Have been wondering how the little Tiger was doing! So happy for you!

possum - have PM'ed you xx