The "Is this your first" question

[Rach75]

I know what you mean a lot of the time it depends who I am speaking too, I get extremely emotional when asked is Jack my first etc, and I say yes, I feel like I have neglected Katy disrespected ehr in some way but then I think I know the truth Jack will know the truth when he is older enough to understand the important people in ours lives know the truth and thats what matters

Hopefully without offending anyone here ...............

I actually found my multiple miscarriages faded into relative insignificance after the loss of Caitlyn but that may also have been because all of them were very early. I never feel the desire to tell of them unless pressed for details or for medical appointments etc. I do, happily and frequently, talk about Caitlyn. There is so much stigma attached to a stillbirth (and miscarriage) that I feel my openess is (hopefully) a way to take away some of that.

I am the same way ... only real close friends family and medical people realise this is our 7th pg but will hopefully result in the birth of our 2nd live child and 3rd child together

[pash]

It's a tough one NaeNae. Do you lie to make the strangers comfortable? Or do you tell the truth?

Your approach sounds good to me. If they keep pushing, they get an unexpected answer. But if they let it go at the first question, then it's fine.

It's a hard one I think because something that is so personal like a pregnancy, is on display for everyone to see and chat to you about.

This is something I've been struggling with too. And until now have just been saying that it's my first and feeling a bit dirty for lying and not acknowledging my angel babies. But I really don't want ppl at work to know anything so personal about me.

Hope you strike a balance.

[Muppity]

Its a tough one Nae and it is something that I haven't been through but I am wondering if you could just keep talking and not really give them the opportunity to ask follow up questions.

I am thinking something along the lines of "no, this isn't my first, I had a little girl previously, but we are so looking forward to meeting this one, we [find out the sex/paint the nursery/ whatever] next week and then we have the pressure of trying to find the perfect name, choosing names is just so hard, there are no many things to consider aren't there. Now, how long did you say you were staying for?"