I've kind of experienced this from both sides. I was very up for it when I was pregnant but DP wasn't because he was scared of hurting the baby and/or the idea just freaked him out. I DID understand and didn't push him, I just said I wish he'd warned me so that it hadn't come as so much of a change (he knew he'd be like this because he was the same with his XW when she was pregnant). Even though I understood, I did feel a tad rejected so I can empathise with blokes who feel this.
When DD was born, his libido came back and mine disappeared - mostly because physically I was in a lot of pain from lingering pelvic instability which means even rolling over in bed was excruciating for the first six months and even now, still a bit uncomfortable 17 months later.
We are slowly getting there but I think these issues are very, very common judging by some of the chats we have in our Mothers Group.
I think the key is that sex is a physical expression of the love we feel for someone so when the sex disappears that person can feel unloved. So you need to keep reassuring them that they are still loved. For blokes, especially, sex can be the main way they express their love.
Krisp - DP and I go to a counselling service in Melbourne that has a creche that could look after your kids. I'm not sure if the creche is open after hours but it's definitely open in the arvos. PM me if you'd like the details.
Oh geez im glad I came across this thread, so sick of seeing books that say your libido goes up and I was thinking "why not me?"
DP and I have only had sex 3 times since I got pg (im almost 25 weeks) and everytime has been semi forced...its like I enjoy it once were DTD but initiation is either by him after days of whinging (like that helps!) or me forcing myself...to make it worse, when we finally DTD, he says "you don't even want it do you?"
I really hope my libido comes back (I used to want sex every day twice a day at least) and im so depressed I feel like im not a woman anymore...
And continuously having dreams of sex with other ppl (ex's, celebs etc)...not sure if this is normal during pg??
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