I've kind of experienced this from both sides. I was very up for it when I was pregnant but DP wasn't because he was scared of hurting the baby and/or the idea just freaked him out. I DID understand and didn't push him, I just said I wish he'd warned me so that it hadn't come as so much of a change (he knew he'd be like this because he was the same with his XW when she was pregnant). Even though I understood, I did feel a tad rejected so I can empathise with blokes who feel this.

When DD was born, his libido came back and mine disappeared - mostly because physically I was in a lot of pain from lingering pelvic instability which means even rolling over in bed was excruciating for the first six months and even now, still a bit uncomfortable 17 months later.

We are slowly getting there but I think these issues are very, very common judging by some of the chats we have in our Mothers Group.

I think the key is that sex is a physical expression of the love we feel for someone so when the sex disappears that person can feel unloved. So you need to keep reassuring them that they are still loved. For blokes, especially, sex can be the main way they express their love.

Krisp - DP and I go to a counselling service in Melbourne that has a creche that could look after your kids. I'm not sure if the creche is open after hours but it's definitely open in the arvos. PM me if you'd like the details.