Gender Disappointment?

[jbie]

it's not that i didn't want a son; it's that i kinda wanted a daughter..

i too was nervous and sleepless the night before the u/s.. we'd said from the start that we suspected it was a boy, i was sure it was, it "felt" like it was a boy, and i'd even dreamed of "him" one night..
(even when the sonographer hazarded at 12 weeks that it might be a girl..)
and it WAS a boy!

but then i went through what i consider to be a necessary but brief period of reconciliation with the fact that i was not having a girl.. both DH and i wanted a girl.. i had had all these images of motherhood in my mind, many of which were very gender-specific, such as tiny smocked sundresses, me passing my designer shoes to her when she grew up, sitting on the couch knitting together with my daughter (her with big chunky kid-suitable knitting needles) - this last image caused me to burst into tears 20 mins after we'd left the sonographer's, as i was driving with DH to breakfast.. silly, i know.

but DH found that he was "over the moon" to be having a son.. and i am aware that what i want more than anything is a baby, a healthy live one..

and i'm more than reconciled to having a baby boy now, a son.. i've reconfigured my imaginings to all the things i can do with a boy; considering the kind of relationship only a mother and son can have; realising that shopping is still very possible and fun with a boy (i made a list of things one can shop for, for a boy)

and perhaps now i'll consider more seriously having 2 or even 3 children in all, to have a daughter in the mix, instead of a single child. maybe..

the grandparents couldn't be more delighted.. DH was a big event when he arrived, being the first grandchild and only son of an only son (his dad, my FIL), so DS will be the 3rd only-son in a row.. it's a very big deal in their family.