Nicole my best advice would be to just say something. The most painful experiences for me after we lost our baby was when people said nothing - I know it was because they didn't know what to say but to say nothing and pretend like I was never prg and my baby never existed hurt me terribly.

My own brother did this and it was a very painful thing for me to deal with. Funnily enough, my SIL was prg with my niece at the time too and do you know I didn't even think about that? It was totally insignificant to me or my loss or my baby. Didn't make me feel any better or any worse. She was apparently really funny about coming to see me and this upset me 100,000 times more than the fact that she was prg.

I think Hannahfroodoo has some great advice - follow their lead. If she asks about your pregnancy, then share it with her. If she doesn't, then she's not ready and find something else to talk about.

If you feel like you can't talk to them face to face (and I understand this, it's a very confronting situation) I would suggest sending them a nice card telling them that you acknowledge their loss and their grief and letting them know you are thinking of them and are there for them. That's all it takes.

Good lucky sweetie, I know it's not an easy situation.