please don't judge..just need some advice

[Lulu]

Drink PLENTY of water, rest and eat.

[Stevie]

well at least you know what you did was wrong. It p***es me off when you see women drinking and smoking through their whole pregnancy (like the woman at the end of my street)
but you should be fine. and bubs will no doubt be ok. Just know that alcohol is not a solution. i used to drink a fair bit before being pregnant, so i know that sometimes that feels like the answer but its not.
talk to your partner about it, he shouldnt have pushed you that far. im not saying that being pregnant gives us immunity to arguements (lol) but they should know when to stop.

[Fleur]

as the others have said, if it's a one-off I think you'll be fine. I got a bit trashed with 2 or 3 of mine before I knew I was PG and then stressed about it being early in their development. Your bub is a bit older, I think a lot of the issues with drinking during PG is when it is prolonged exposure iykwim.
Rest, drink water... chat to your Dr or Midw if you're worried.

Good advice from Brontide...

[nattyfred]

Poor you... Just dont do it again because you will feel just as bad and then its a habit. Theres nothing you can do about it now and bad as it is to say, some poor babies have to put up with it for a lot longer than one night. I think smoking is similar and I gave up as soon as I found out. The other week DH and I had a big one too and I stole one of his 1mg smokes and then felt terrible. Maybe its the wake up call that you needed that you are now a mummy...I know thats what I figured out.

Eat some healthy food and lots of water and promise yourself you wont it again

xx Take care

[first_time_mummy]

I just wasnt thinking.
we were out at dinner, and i had a wine while we were there (only one, i swear)
On the way home, he insisted on driving, as he was worried about the wine i had, and didnt want anything bad to happen to me. So i let him drive, but while were driving, i simply asked him to slow down and keep to the limits, as my car is only insured in my name, and if anything happened, i wouldnt be covered...this made him get fired up, he thought i was nagging, but i was stressing more than anything, as i have always been the driver, and have a phobia of being a passnger in a car.

The more he got angry, the more fired up i became, and we ended up screaming at each other, the whole way home.
He was then, deliberately revving the engine, and tailgating everyone, not to mention driving over to the edge of the road heaps.

I was screaming at him to let me out...and he was just yelling back at me. I got to a point where i snapped, and actually slapped him in the face. (which i have nevver done!)

I then got out of the car, and started walking, i was balling my eyes out.

He followed me in the car, and told me to gt in, so he could take me home, but i refused....so he spun my car round and did this massive burn out up the road (I was furious, as i love my car)

I ended up just walking to our nearest shop, and bought a bottle of wine, and just drank.

Terrible i know, but it made me feel better, not in a drunken alco way, but just in a 'get-back' way. I felt like it would scare him into realising how bad i could go.

When he seen the bottle, he got angry (which i guess is a good thing), he told me that was a terrible thing to be doing...and this made me think it was getting to him, so i thought i was winning.
We had another big fight, where things were broken...he broke an ashtray and the glass door on my tv cabinet. Not to mention, the driveway was all torn up by his burnouts.

Next morning i woke up, and realised how silly the whole fight was, i felt like my hormones prob got me into more trouble than usual.

I waiting on an apology call from him, but nothing...i ended up calling him...which made me mad, but its what needed to be done to make the peace.

I really feed terrible about the whole thing, but its definately not an on-going thing, and i dont wanna go to my midwife or doc, cause then i seem like some hopeless mother, who is going to be depressed and drinking all the time
Cause thats definately not the case

[grub17]

oh firsttimemummy, take care of you.
like the others have said, so long as it was a one-off i think bubs will be okay. I'm more concerend about you! sounds like your partner needs a sitting down and a good talking to.

like someone else said, being pregnant isn't a free pass to be painful - but he NEEDS to realise that you need love and support and not pettiness. You have a medical reason for going a bit crazy (believe me i've been there too)with all the hormones and changes you are copoing with, what's his?

i'm not sure the "getting back at him'' by hurting yourself policy is the best choice tho hun. sounds like you both need to sit down for a long chat on resolving conflict.

there's not much you can do about either of your behaviours BUT you can choose to learn from it. So maybe it happened for a reason cos once bub arrives, it's a different ball game.

I hope you can sort it and bothfeel you've moved onto a better place in your relationship.

[first_time_mummy]

thats what i was saying to him last night...we were sitting down having a snuggly make up night, and i asked him whether we're going to be okay?
He asked what i meant, and i told him im stressing now that things will get worse after bub is born, ...you know, arguement, fights etc.

He said we'll be fine, as long as when one of us start getting hot headed, we let the other one know, so we can sit down and talk about it, rather than yelling at each other like crazy baboons...lol

I hope he is right.
Lately ive been getting very lonely and upset, as he works 6 1/2 days a week, and leaves at 7am, and gets home at 6pm....i feel like i only see him for 2-3 hours a day, cause we go to bed at 9pm.

All day i feel cooped up in a big house, with nothing to do but housework, and watching the clock..

Im soo scared that this will become worse, when im stuck at home in a big empty house, with so much work to do, and a screaming bub.

[Phteven]

I really feed terrible about the whole thing, but its definately not an on-going thing, and i dont wanna go to my midwife or doc, cause then i seem like some hopeless mother, who is going to be depressed and drinking all the time
Cause thats definately not the case

Talking to Dr or Middy doesn't make you seem like a hopeless Mum. Quite the opposite in fact - it makes you seem like a self-aware mother who is smart enough to recognise a potential problem and step up before it grows into something worse.
I read somewhere that most couples don't seek counseling until it is pretty much too late. It's worth stepping on problems before they get out of control.

[krysalyss]

Hi there. Firstly big hugs. We are always hardest on ourselves.
Drinking is risky - you already know that But the fact remains there is nothing you can do now, except prevent it happening in the future. I agree with Brontide that you need to see someone to talk through how you are feeling. It sounds like there are quite a few issues you need to talk through. Seeking help does not reflect badly on you - everyone feels out of their depth sometimes and when you are pg or even after baby is born all of these new feelings develop. Would you think badly of anyone else who needed to see a counsellor? I consider myself to be a well-educated, well-adjusted person with a reasonable support network - I had ante-natal and post-natal depression and had to see a psychologist/dr/counsellor at both times. Now is the time to get some help.
Secondly - yes drinking can be very dangerous to your unborn child but what about the dangerous driving your partner showed? I would be furious over his lack of regard for you child's wellbeing. It was very irresponsible.
Good luck with it all and big hugs.