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having your toddler balancing precariously for a cuddle because there's not much 'lap' left.....
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in the days leading up to DDs birth i clearly remember sitting in the rain for a good 10 minutes cause i couldnt be bothered trying to get myself outta the deck chair. DH had to come and rescue me.
also you know you are getting huge when shop assistants look at you with pure terror...dont go into girly fashion stores 38 weeks pregnant is the moral to that story LOL!
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- it takes a careful 5 minute balancing act to get your knickers on.
- you fill the bath tub on half way but when you get in a Tsunami occurs and the bathroom is flooded with water.
- your stuck in the bath tub for an hour because you can't get out and your DH is downstairs watching T.V, he can't hear your screams. By the time he comes to check on you, your a prune, cold and all the calm vibes from the bath have gone out the window.
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the bath scenario happened to me tonight!!!! no more bathing unless Dan is in screaming distance.
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haha im with the ladies who cant pick up hand bags and clean benchs as they go - some cleaning company could make some very good $$ selling preg shirts that come with leaning rags attached to the belly! ... as for the ladies who got stuck in the bath, that hasnt happend yet but i did get suck between a book case and the couch...DH had to move the couch for me
i had a classic one tonight when i saw my mum and dad and nanna...
she's 88 years old and showed ME how to get out of a chair easier then i had been!
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When you would rather park a long way away from the door, in a park that has an Island next to the drivers door so you can open it, and hope that the walk to the shops will help induce labour.
You need to buy shares in Tena Lady
Your house smells like Clary Sage oil
All of your nappies and baby clothes have been washed twice and you are contemplating doing it again
You look for a toilet when you arrive anywhere, even if it is only 5 minutes from home.
You consider buying a 4 wheel drive or other high vehicle so that you can slide in and out of the car.
DH goes to sleep in the spare room because with both you and the body pillow on the bed there is just no more room, no matter how big your bed is!!
Some days you dont bother with knickers because they will get lost
Your thongs are getting tight because of the fluid retention
Your toddler is learning to fetch things for you, and can be trusted to get your phone for you when the big moment arrives.
You have your pregnancy record with you at all times
You have your birth bag in the boot at all times
Your freezer is so full of frozen meals that you dont have room for the weekly/fortnightly shopping.
You spend more time in the empty but decorated nursery than anywhere else, except maybe the toilet
I know I will have more
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These are so funny !Something to look forward to !
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Here's another one:
When you waddle into a hospital for any reason everyone either suddenly makes room for you, offer you a wheel chair, or open the doors for you so that you don't tire yourself out. And they all make the same comment: "Looks like your in labour, you poor thing."
Had that happen last night lol, and I was there because of a nasty flu virus thats going around lol
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You want to go out and realise your toes need some attention so your DH has to clip them and paint them for you which is so funny.
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Oh! That's a good one.... my toe nails.... they are soooo long I seriously need to cut them but just can't do it!!! DH won't go near em'!!
Although i can't complain as DH has been making me a bath every night
So i guess..... you know you're heavily pregnant when -
* you have to pay someone to cut your toe nails!! Looks like its a pedicure for me next week!
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...when you don't even bother with reverse parking because its too hard to turn around to look where you're going...today I just did a dodgy nose park and put my hazard lights on. If anyone asked, I was going to point to the giant bump and say..."definite road hazard".
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You have cankles!
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When working out whether the noise you hear on the tin roof is rain or not... you load up the met bureau's rain radar because you're sitting at the computer, and the windows to the outside world are just too far away...
BW
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When you have to use the handles in your car to grab hold of to slide your A$$ across the seat and manouevre yourself in,
When you give up wearing shoes n sox and live in thongs and have a different pair for each day cos you cant bend over to get your shoes.
Your 14EE bra doubles as a insinkerator and actually could be patented as a perfectly good food recycling/storing service,when you remove it at night you see the contents of the days meals
When you uare half asleep and try n roll over in bed or get up for a pee only to realise that your pregnant and the only way up is sideways slowly,this also counts for manouvering out of any chair/couch.
When you actually consider buying incontinence pants for adults cos your sick of peeing every 5 mins or when you arrive somewhere the homing beacon for a toilet is on red alert
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Oh ladies these are too funny and too true!
You know you are heavily pregnant when:
You ask DH to wax your legs for you (which you know will be more painful than the shop lady) because the thought of driving down to the mall and getting them done requires a nap in itself.
You never knew you owned THAT many pillows! and your bed and couch look like a harem due to them all being there.
you could get dressed........ but whats the point?
you keep walking your bump into a chair or bench and hitting it thinking you surely had more room than that... at least a metre!
the amount of people that say things like "oh you look ready to hatch, pop, go, or *insert any other term of expulsion of the baby out of the womb here*"
when the shop lady asks how far you have to go and they have a shocked look on their face and say "and you are still able to go out?" like it looks physically impossible to stand up straight with all that weight out the front.
If you try to look down and see if your bikini line has ingrown hairs (from the wax 30 weeks ago!) and you feel nauseas cos you are nearly upside down and choking on your belly.
your cat sleeps on your bump and is so used to it that she doesnt bat an eyelid when she gets a kick in the face from said bump.
Oh theres so many!
keep em coming ladies
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.... when a leisurely 20 minute walk lasts over an hour because you can only walk at snail pace!
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you need to do a 20 point turn to roll over in bed...
... oh and your DH tells you your vagina looks like a big purple hamburger. That was memorable let me tell you and out came the hand mirror lol!
Last edited by nelly; December 22nd, 2008 at 07:23 AM.
Ironing in your bra and undies and burning your belly!! Ouch!
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