Sue - again, you allow them to gain access to the YAL, which legally you are entitled to have.
imho the fact the give the option for the teens to access money (which is there for lower income families that need it) is a silly, silly thing. I can't change that.

However, it was not simple for me. My rules are simple, but if you cannot respect SIMPLE rules - like contributing to the household, doing BASIC chores etc, I cannot permit that.

I gave my daughter a lovely unit to live in at the back of my house because it would be easier for her to study and have some teen freedom without the hassles of the younger children. She fully understood my financial position. I explained to her what YAL was for. I showed her the bills for her uniforms and VCE books (WHOA!).
If she worked part time, that money was hers as she has earned it.

But she didn't want that, she wanted the YAL because all her friends got it. I made an arrangement that she could have half if she kept her unit tidy, helped with the dishes and called me if she was to come home late. Be respectful of her mother. She apparently could do none of that. She got rude and nasty. I explained the choice was hers - be supported by me in the unit for as long as she was at school and uni. I could not afford to give her any more than that.

I showed her how much rent would be yadda yadda yadda. This went on for months. I had a part time job at school, so did nearly everyone else in the world. You have to pay your way. Even if I was rich, I would expect the same. How can you 'release' a child into the world with that sort of expectation? It is my responsibility to prepare her for reality...not put her ass in a sling because she would expect it for the rest of her life. My younger children would too.

I could not let her be so rude and dismissive of me in front of the younger children - what sort of example would that set? She wanted what I could not and would not give.

And she chose to leave. And I had to let her go. Now she lives in a place she has to do far more chores she ever had to do here. She has to be home early, she must pay her own bills, she must pay for her own phone, get herself around by public transport.

And she though it was a matter of leaving home and doing whatever you feel like - WRONG! So I had to let my 16 yr old daughter go. She is learning the greatest lesson she will ever learn and it hurts that I cannot be there for her but nevertheless it will be the making of her.

No one gets a free ride. I will not have my children being dole bludgers, expecting handouts or standing over other people to get what they want.

No one said it was supposed to be easy raising children - I gave her the tools but she didn't use them. She will though because I will never assuage my own guilt by giving in to her. I owe HER these lessons.