Fiona - in Qld the govt brought in "earn or learn" for kids when they hit 15/16. They must either be in FULL TIME education or FULL TIME work, no ifs or buts. There are some great schools around that don't focus on the academic side of high school (in Brisbane there is Kelvin Grove State High School and St James). A girlfriend has her son in one, he has aspergis, and is thriving at the school he is at, he does a mix of academic and vocational subjects and there is amazing support for him - my gf is an occupational psychologist so did a lot of research before picking a school. My DH went to Kelvin Grove as he had "learning issues" because of his ADD, he would have ended up at uni if his then-gf didn't get pregnant while he was in grade 11, he did start uni when he got into the army a few years later.

Is there anything that interests her? Anything that is a bit "out there" because maybe you could find out about maybe her doing a part-time TAFE course in something she likes.

In my "real" life I'm a Project Manager yet I've got an urge to learn how to fabricate parts for cars, like new panels etc, so with my DH's help, I'm starting to learn all about restoring cars and making up bits for them, I'm about to rope in our amazing mechanic (who does things like restoring cars, modifies cars for racing etc) to see if I could maybe be workshop dogs-body on weekends for him. DH & I are also restoring an old car. I was a science/maths head in school and got the marks to go to uni but didn't want to - so I went travelling around the world for nearly 6 years, but I'm upto degree number 2 (science) now (ok I didn't finish degree number 1 - IT - but I came close) and I'm 38 this year.

I think you are totally and utterly amazing to take on what could be an incredible challenge, just remember throughout it all, that you need quality time with your DH and your SDD.