My heart breaks for you PZ. You are not a failure. Your baby girl is so lucky to have such a strong woman for a mother. I wish I could do more than post here. Please know that what you are feeling is normal and how you are coping is a credit to your strength. Some people can't get out of bed. You are doing so well and things will get better. But at the moment they are totally ****house and you are allowed to cry. Let yourself xxx