no way are you a failure

grief screws you up - and you are grieving the life you thought you had and what should have been

you're a new mummy, still finding her feet

and you're doing all you NEED to do. yup, playing extra games is fantastic - but we ALL go through periods where it's just too much. you are meeting Isla's essential needs, allowing yourself to grieve so that you CAN move forward, one way or another. Isla would tell you if she needed more. she wouldn't settle, she wouldn't feed - but she is - which means you're doing all she needs you to do

Don't be so damn hard on yourself. the only expectations you are failing are your own - i know we all believe we should be supermum's - but sometimes we have to shelve those expectations of ourselves and just accept we're mortal, we have weaknesses - and that it's ok to feel those mortal feelings and grieve.