There was one day when I was living with ExP and he'd been yelling at me for something, probably because I was feeling depressed or something. I burst into tears, DS looked up and started crying.. ExP said "See what you're doing to my son?!" and stormed out. That afternoon I told him I wanted to go and live with my mother. We tried doing the trial thing, on again, off again and even tried a date. He was nice to me occasionally, and I tried to be understanding with him but I just didn't feel it anymore. We didn't end up having the talk so much as me telling him it's over because of a lot of other things that happened at the time and I just snapped one day.

It's hard, but I guess I was lucky that DS was so young at the time, so I didn't need to explain anything to him. It's been almost 2 years since I officially ended it, but I know it felt like it was over before DS was even born, just neither of us would admit it. ExP still seems to be having problems coming to terms with it alll.

I agree with Lulu and things other people have already said.. It will be harder for the person who didn't decide to seperate.. They will be resentful, even if they knew it wasn't going too well, it still must be devastating for them to hear someone else admit that they just can't make things work any more. I guess if you both try to be as honest as possible without causing undue hurt (It's going to hurt no matter what, but once someone gets resentful or upset they might start saying things that aren't helpful to the situation).

Anyway, sorry for going on. Also wanted to say I'll be thinking of you.