Kel, I'm so sorry you are going through this

When my ex-DH and I split up I wrote him a letter about everything that I was feeling (but not accusing him of anything and not in anger) and left it for him to read while I went away for the weekend. I knew that he wouldn't listen to me if I had sat down and tried to talk to him about it so I wrote the letter and ended it by saying that we would discuss it when I returned. It gave him time to digest the issues and think about what I had said so that when we sat down and talked it wasn't in anger.

Although we didn't have kids we managed to seperate on good terms and are still good friends. Sometimes you need to take things slowly and try to remove as much emotion as possible to get to the core of things to work out if anything can be salvaged.