I feel like I'm starting to hate him. I never get to go out with my friends who aren't mums because I have to look after El. I sometimes wish I never got a job. I only started applying for jobs coz he kept asking me and giving me ads out of the paper. And now he wonders why I'm peed off because I have no social life outside of being a mum. Monday through to Wednesday isn't good for me as I work the next day, and he works Thursday and Friday nights and Sunday mornings. So the only night I can guarantee he's home to look after her is Sunday night. And most of my friends have things to do on Mondays. Why does he have to run my life? He keeps saying, I'll ditch woolies and get a job at a hospital. But he hasn't done it. The reason he likes the way we've arranged the childcare of Elouise this way is so she doesn't have to go to a centre. I really want to put her in one day, so then I can go out one night and not have to go home early to watch her. Why does he have to work anyway? He's a student and gets centrelink. It frustrates me that I'm 20 and can't even be a normal 20 year old and go out and stay over at mates houses. He got to travel and all that and I never can. And he wonders why I'm angry all the time. I never get to be me. My parents can't babysit from interstate and all my mates either are mums or I want to be out with them. Actually, I have like 5 friends who aren't parents. I just feel so angry and lonely.