Oh Cate - those feelings are something we all go through, I just went downstairs to hang out the washing and came back to hear Pip screaming his head off, with DF just sitting on the sofa. He said he had to work tomorrow, so it was my turn to look after him!

Think back to when you first had El, and all those people who said "if you ever want help ... " and start calling them. Don't be too proud, or you just end up really really angry. Ask for help from friends & family - often you'll be suprised who's there for you.

And next time she's down asleep, take a nice glass of anything cold outside, put your feet up and listen to the birds in the trees. And breathe, and relax.

When you go through the formalities, you can work out the definate access times for him - and then you'll have time to yourself every week or fortnight, and you'll miss having El around. Just hang out until then!

*hugs* kaz