very true lulu2 - i wouldnt let him touch my child with a 10ft pole!
to add to my rant from last night, if he actually thought he could get ANY woman to hand over her rights to her child than there's something seriously wrong with this guy!
oh by the way, do you have any contact with his family?? if you dont, i suggest you do, because if anyone can get him to see what he's doing is wrong, it will be his family...
and if they turn out to be on his side, and repeat what he says, well i would definately stay away from these people...
also, to emphasise his lack of rights - even if everything went to court and he got the best lawyer in town and made you look like a crap mother(which you definately arent), but if he does all that, he will still only get DS every second weekend... and maybe half the school holidays when DS is old enough... and THATS IT! we are very lucky that the laws in australia favor mothers, thats what i love about being a woman, no man can ever take away your child. It just makes me so angry when i hear about men that think they can take children off their mother!
so what made you fall for this guy in the first place? was he completely different before you got pregnant??
anywho, i have sleep to catch up on... dont we all...
Miranda, are you worried at all by this tool and his view of things? I mean, your plan seems totally and utterly reasonable and I cant see ANY court not agreeing with you. I'd be pretty confident if I were you.
I'm glad somebody shares my anger about these men inparticular. His family will stand up for him. I fell for him because he treated my older boy's great and we had so much in common we spent every minute together when he was home from work. I felt worth something again and enjoyed the attention of a male which i thought i would never get. Stupid me fell for it hook line and sinker.
I am avoiding men till i have got my life on track and raised my kids. I will never fall for it again. He not only hurt me but my two boys who still ask where he is. I don't know how to explain things to them they will see him again when the bub is born and wonder where he has been and why he has only come back for the new baby, hope it doesn't make them get to jealous of bubba. Got any hints on how to explain this to a 2 and 4 year old. This will continue to hurt them and for that a hate what he has done. I was lead to believe my life was going to be happy and heading forward.
I do see what he is doing but i don't want to instill in any of my kids my hate for this man and i do realise the importance of know your real father. If only he would work with me on this and stop thinking about himself. At this point in time the only things i know about his where a bouts is his mobile number and an email address he tells me nothing about his life only what he is going to do to mine. I will be confident when i have seen my solicitor she is so busy my next appointment is 4th of sept so i'll let you all know how i go. So for now i fear him.
Can you get an AVO against him. It would send a strong message that you wont take things lying down. I take my hat off to you and the way you are handling this.
I'd feel pretty ripped off too Miranda.....and I'll be doing the same as you, concentrating on the kids for a while first. I really think differently about things now, I've managed to not be soooooo p1ssed about how things have turned out and am on the move forward again
Thanks again i'm not as down as i used to be learning how to laugh it off. I was going to do the AVO but it would make it harder for him to be around me for the supervised visits. I'm just waiting on using all the stuff i have been collecting against him. I will not backdown if he does get it to court.
thats awesome miranda
i hope everything goes as well for you as it has ended up for me, you deserve it!
thats great to hear that you're feeling better now
remember you'll always have all of us here at BB waiting to talk to you, console you, give you advice, make you laugh, listen to you, and if needed - wait for him in the back of an alley to teach him a lesson!
all the best
keep us posted on your journey with or without the w@nker
have you asked him to still come and spend time with the boys? if he refuses, thats another thing you can use against him! he will look very irresponsible and self-centred if he is unwilling to keep the relationship with your boys... cause really, its all about the children... and if a judge is not sure whether he will always put his children first then he will never get anything more than a kick in the a$$
but your plan is pretty flawless and i'm with lulu2, no court will disagree with a fair plan like that...
you've got nothing to worry about girl, just keep telling yourself that you're a good mother, and start looking forward to this bub being born! you're 28 weeks pregnant remember!! start paying more attention to yourself and spend less time worrying (cause you have nothing to worry about!). i know its hard cause of all the hormones and everything, but u gotta try!
when i was pregnant with DS, the whole time i was worrying so much about what XP was doing, if he was plotting to take bub, if he got a lawyer and was planning to take me to court, if he would ever leave me alone... it eventually dug me into a hole so deep that i had a breakdown while pregnant and couldnt go to work for a week, and was very very close to having post-natal depression... so remember to think positive, it takes a lot of guts to start thinking about yourself only, BE SELFISH!
i also repeat what i said last night - move house, change your number... give him the exact treatment he's giving you! he wont find you...
oh i've had an idea, how bout you go and break one of your windows in your house and call the cops n say it was him... he lost his temper... pretty stupid idea but i'm forever thinking of ways to sabotage men... I CANT HELP IT
*fuming!*
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look after yourself
he will look very irresponsible and self-centred if he is unwilling to keep the relationship with your boys... cause really, its all about the children... and if a judge is not sure whether he will always put his children first then he will never get anything more than a kick in the a$$
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