My husband met a woman through work in August. He started emailing her and confiding in her that he has been unhappy in our marriage for many, many years. (This year will make 17 years married and 18 years together. )
3.5 weeks ago I found out the marriage was over, when I approached him and asked why he was being so withdrawn, hostile and closed-off towards me for the past few weeks. It took hours but he finally admitted he hasn't felt anything for me in years. I suggested counselling but he wasn't keen.

I was devastated - easily the worst day of my life ever.
After days of crying and lots of thought, I realized that I also have not felt true love for him since after our daughter was born. Things changed. Our relationship wasn't 'romantic', even though our sex life was perfectly regular and normal. I think this is probably why I never thought much about my own happiness or whether I still loved him - because to me, sex is one of the main indicators of a good relationship.

2.5 weeks ago I found out about the woman. I only found out because I checked the mobile phone record and saw hundreds of texts and long phone calls to / from a particular number. I then confronted him, and eventually he admitted to it, only because I called the number and heard the voice of an Asian woman!
This has added insult to injury and made it a million times worse. Even though I don't feel jealous from a romantic perspective, it is the betrayal that has enraged me. I'm also feeling anger towards him for doing this to us - and for finding love again so quickly and easily!

He says he loves this woman. They have not yet slept together (so he tells me). But he had told her all our private business, and all these years I had NO idea he was unhappy!
You might find that hard to believe, but his personality is very even-keeled - e.g. when he's ecstatic with joy, when other people would whoop and jump around and cheer, he wouldn't bat an eyelid. Similarly, if feeling extremely upset, he would keep a poker face. He has admitted that he avoids conflict at all costs, so he kept quiet all this time.

We have a 5 year old daughter. He wants to continue seeing her every day. He has come up with a kind of crazy plan to keep sleeping at our place (on the couch) for 4 nights a week, and spending every weekend here too. He is trying to hide the separation from our daughter, because she is very sensitive and emotional by nature, and he has a very close relationship with her.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. Tonight he will be telling the woman about his plan. He reckons he will not budge from his plan, and that she'll have to accept that their life will be complicated. Who knows how she will react.

He wants to keep providing for me and DD financially, as I resigned from my very stable job when DD was 1 year old. He wants me to keep the house so DD can have stability by remaining in the family home, and our car so I can take her to school. I have not asked for any of these things, nor did I expect them.

I'm not feeling so great at the moment, but I am functioning enough to continue taking DD to kindy 3 times a week, and taking care of her etc. I have said nothing to her about what's going to happen and have never bad-mouthed him in front of her.

I just don't know what to do now.

I have no parents or family. I'm not close to his family and neither is he - he hasn't told them yet.
I have only 1 close friend who moved overseas a few years ago, but we've been talking on Skype and she's been a huge help.
I just feel very alone and unhappy.
Thanks for reading.