When I read about things in your relationship I felt like I was reading my own thoughts. Due to my husband's depression and the verbal abuse that I cop when he's having a down day or week I have felt really really unhappy. I am still with my husband even though I have thought many times about leaving. In some cases separation might be the right thing. You may well be happier out of the relationship...I may well be happier out of my relationship.

I hope you make the right decision for you and your family. Perhaps start with a trial separation.
Myself: I'm staying and fighting for my marriage which I know some people think is foolish. Thing is, I come from a long line of stayers and fighters who have been married for 27+ years (and my grandparents who have been married for about 53 years). They've had really tough times but stayed and fought for their marriages and have got good marriages now. My husband comes from a long line of broken relationships including his parents who split up when he was about 1 or 2 and he is messed up in a big way because his mother left.

In the end, no one can make the decision for you, you have to do what you think is right and if you don't know what's right then you need to take a chance. Weigh up the pros and cons. Even though your partner wont talk to you about his feelings, tell him calmly about yours (if you haven't already). Tell him you are thinking of leaving. He might agree that it's best or it might be a wake up call to him.

I'm about to start councelling so I can cope better during the tough times. My husband doesn't want to go to councelling yet but I'm hopeful that he will soon.

Good luck with it all.