SO sick of the comments 'time for another one' and other token comments

[Nicole S]

Am sure I am not the only one but lately I am so sick of hearing the same comments over and over again about trying for another baby:-
'so are you and your dh ttc another baby'
'time for another one'
'don't you want to give ds a brother or sister'
'you betta get on the "job" soon to make another baby
'don't you want another baby'

OMG it drives me nuts it took over 3.5 year of TTC and 4 cycles of AC to FINALLY make this little man.
Not like DH and I decided one night to 'try' and make a baby and presto 9 months latter we had one.
Most of the people who make these comments know that we did IVF and yet they still don't think before they speak.

It just hits home about how DS may be an only child which I don't think is the worst thing I am one and I think I turned out ok
Breaks my heart but I now we are also able to provide really well for one child as I am still lucky enough to be a SAHM for our little guy and DH is working his butt off for us.
During the week I went to SIL house who's 5 year old DS stuck up for his 3 year old sister when my little man took a toy from her. My DS does not now any different and was just playing....it was more of that action between a brother and sister which he may miss out on

If it were up to me I would try IVF in a heartbeat, but with the currents costs and me being a SAHM it's not really the place to put our money.
I guess you just never know things may happen one day the old fashion way...lol

Anyway this is a rant and just needed to post where I am sure so many women would understand

[farmgirl77]

if only people would think before they opened their mouth with such 'wonderful' words of advice

No matter what you have to, or decide to do, your DS will grow up to be a beautiful and wonderful person because he has great parents who will always love and look after him - irrispective of being an only child or one of five!

I wish that I could offer advice as to what to say to those people who make such mindless comments, but I cant because I have not yet found the solution, but I know how much it can hurt esp when people know of what you have been through!


FG

[Nicole S]

Thanks FG I knew you would understand
What I get upset about most is the way I brush it off by saying "Oh no one is enough" When in my hearts of heats I would love to give DS a sibling.
Almost feels like when we were TTC and people would ask when are we going to have a baby and I would always say 'one day' or 'were ok for now'.....

[Mum2SweetCs]

here here!!!!! Its soo freaking annoying esp when we are having so many probs trying. I always have to lie and say "ill wait until dd is a little older ... when she goes to school" because its hard for me to say ive been trying for 12mths+

FUDGE!

Dust these hollow comments away (although i must eat my own words, coz I cant either!)

[Nicole S]

MTOSB I think we get very use to protecting our self's from hard truths and it is easier just to lie
But it feels good to know we are not alone

[Mum2SweetCs]

enjoy your bubba =) When we see them smile all these comments melt away dont they =)

[Nicole S]

Every day I am thankful for this little miracle we have been given....and yes when they smile nothing else matters
You enjoy your precious little lady too
xx

[briggsy's girl]

maybe i'm mean - i have decided not to be ashamed or hide that DD is an AC bubba, so when someone asks, even someone i don't really know, i ask them when they are going to pay for our treatment! yes, it sounds silly to say it to someone you don't really know BUT, i figure if they're rude enough to be asking something like that, they deserve it between the eyes!

it's a ridiculous and pointless question - they don't know anything about you, so why not go on the defensive a bit? they are essentially asking about your SEX LIFE ffs!

or maybe i'm just so used to being on the defensive about it all that i HAVE to be like that so i don't get hurt any more kwim?

[mako]

First of all I'm sending you a Its tough gig this TTC business for some of us..
We don't all just become pregnant at the drop of a hat unfortunately.
I also find it VERY rude and get a bit upset by the comments at times too..For instance my own Step Father made the biggest mistake of his life by telling me I was cruel for not giving my DS a sibling..The look on my face must have been enough without me responding verbally and he did have the balls to call me up a couple of hours later to appolagise but still that hurt me in a really big way..He knows about my 6 precious little angels and he just didn't think and TBH I think that is what happens to most of those who do ask these type of questions.

[Nicole S]

Not mean at all BG.
In the past people have made comments on one of one of the above and i just turned around and said it took too long to make DS so we are enjoying every second with him and not worring about other babies in the future...of which they generally have no reply :P
I am proud of the fact we did IVF and will tell DS when he is older if he asks why he hasn't got a brother or sister if that is the case.
Really we have amazing kids and we are lucky to have them in our lives but with all the bs comments maybe the best way is to get on the defensive?

[Nicole S]

back at you Mako
OMG your step fathers comment my blood would have boiled over!!
Glad he called back to appolagise...but wow what a comment
xx

[briggsy's girl]

in all honesty, i tried "nice" before DD arrived, and it didn't work. People in general just don't THINK before they speak. oh, you're married, you must want to have a child. Oh, you have one, you must be ready for another one (before baby number one is even clean from being born!) - i know in some cases it's just thoughtless chatter, but in cases like Mako's, it can be downright cruel, even if not intended that way

if defensive/abrupt/rude gets people to actually think before saying something stupid even once, maybe it's worked...

[peanutter]

mega hugs, nicole ... and that people will be a little more considerate in the future ...

[~Hestia~]

I just read this and wanted to just give you a hug it must be hard hearing those kind of questions all the time. I'm not a LTTTCer but I agree with BG, maybe it's a good idea to be honest to those who pry too much

Keep enjoying your little guy!

[Nicole S]

This is why the women on BB rock, you can feel down and blue and come in here post how you are feeling and some really wonderful women can pick up back up
Thank you ladies for the support it really means so much to me

Cheez, I don't think you need to be a LTTTCer to understand these comments I think in general anyone sticking their head in someone else's personal business should stick their neck back out
BG, love how you 'tried nice' before DD was born...did it work...lol
peanutter, here's hoping ...thanks hun

I also catch up with our birthing class buddies (we made our own little mother’s group) every fortnight and are all talking about TTC #2 there are 6 of us and one has already just given birth to her second.
They just talk so Easley about making a baby and this is something I really can’t join in and laugh about?

[briggsy's girl]

BG, love how you 'tried nice' before DD was born...did it work...lol

not so much!
i gave up when it was the same people all the time - so i got nasty - much more successful

not that i'm really nasty, just blunt
i get a questoin like that my usual answer is
"well, it took 4 years and more rounds of IVF than i care to remember to get this miracle girl, i'm not taking time and money away from her on a maybe, but if you want to be a generous benefactor and pay for unlimited ivf attempts, i'll think about it"

[Nicole S]

If you find one of 'those' generous benefactors send them my way hun

[RhiChiChi]

not so much!
i gave up when it was the same people all the time - so i got nasty - much more successful

not that i'm really nasty, just blunt
i get a questoin like that my usual answer is
"well, it took 4 years and more rounds of IVF than i care to remember to get this miracle girl, i'm not taking time and money away from her on a maybe, but if you want to be a generous benefactor and pay for unlimited ivf attempts, i'll think about it"

Hmm, yes I think I should try this path, although we are on IUI (round 3 atm), not IVF.....

It's really plain rude to ask & none of their business. I have tried nice too & people just don't let up!