Child Support Q

[Kitt3n]

Is it true that if the "paying" parent doesnt pay the required amount of child support (wow only $14 a month and he still cant pay) that you can restrict their visitation rights?

X has never really paid c/support. Last time DD was with him was the first weekend in march, for their brithday (at around the same time). The weekend after he was supposed to come for her party with her friends, he never showed up. We havent heard from him till today, where he sent me a message just saying "i would like to have keira this weekend".

we are going to a wedding, so i told him just that, also mentioned that DD doesnt want to sleep at his house any more, she just wants day visits. She cries to me that she doesnt want to sleep there.

Is there anything that i can do to ensure she doesnt have to sleep there?

Surely he cant just hop in and out of her life whenever he feels like it.

I am concerned to get soem sort of "order" in place, as she is much more happier and stable when she has little contact with him.

Divvy, are you there??!!

[myboysmumma]

I would suggest looking at the csa website for any specific child support info.

As for access, I don't think there is any legal requirement regarding this - I am not a lawyer, just as far as I know...unless there is a court order?

I don't think it's a good idea to deny access for money. It's such a complicated issue and then he may feel when he pays he has the right to unlimited access. I would keep access and child support separate.

[Kitt3n]

lol, thanks myboysmomma, dont get me wrong, i dont want his money. anything he gives me is put into her bank account. After 4 1/2 years of seperation there is only about $500 in there from him!

I dont want to DENY access. I just want it restricted, for her to be settled. can i suggest just one day visit a month? I understand if there are family birthdays etc, there are always going to be things happening, and her grandparents on his side shouldnt have to miss out on her (we are actually in contact without his assistance).

Can he push to have her more often if he hasnt shown that he is a "responsible" parent, by not paying child support? Would any application for an order be thrown out?

I dont think he would apply for one, but just incase it would be nice to have a bit of an idea where i stand.

[myboysmumma]

Sorry I didn't mean you were after his $$$! I just meant in his mind if you deny or restrict when he doesn't pay that he might connect the two. I think you can do what you like legally unless there is a court order. If he wants more access he would have to discuss it with you or take you to court?

If he hasn't been paying I don't think it would look good for him but not sure...

[The[cookie]Doctor]

CL, i havent been 'involved' with the family court system for six or seven years now, (hopefully Divvy can give you some good advice) but if it were to be taken to court, it won't matter whether or not he is paying the child support. It wouldn't matter if he wasn't supposed to be driving, got himself an alias and a fraudulent license, they look specifically at the fact he is the biological parent of the child.

They may be more favourable to give him less time with her if you can prove he only shows up say one weekend and not the next, etc (start writing a diary!), but in court they'll call character references and he can have any tom, richard and harry up there to say what a wonderful father he is, etc.

Because your DD isn't old enough (I think she has to be at least twelve) they won't take in mind her actual want, because she could be speaking from what either of you has told her. The court looks in the best interest of the child, and it would likely be that they see fit that she has constant and regular contact with her father and make an order for every weekend. Or three days out of a week etc. It is only then if he isnt showing up or taking her etc that you can dispute it...

If you can come to an amicable agreement with him, try and get it down on paper... because if he does have the balls and the moeny to take it to courts for an order, he may end up with a lot more time.

Hope this has made sense.

ETA: Also, if you can, get your DD to write her own journal (of her weekends with her father. what she enjoys and doesn't enjoy.., same for the times with you. try to make it as unbiased as possible). It may not necessarily help (for the same as above - it could be what you are telling her) but it is something they can use in court, whereas they cannot use her as a witness or a voice at all.

[Kitt3n]

thanks for that guys

AJ, she already keeps a diary and adds these types of things. I havent kept a diary of "him" for quite soem time now, but maybe i should start again.

Seeing as its been so long since we seperated i can only hope he wouldnt go and get a court order in place now. He now has a step son with a disability, and a new baby girl, so i think he pretty much has his hands full as it is. I dont think he has any money to take me to court, and i really doubt that he could have her more often for his own financial/new family responsilbilities.

I have never gone and gotten anythign put in place because of the fear that they would want him to have her more often. "shared care" wouldnt work anyway as we live a good while away from each other.

[briggsy's girl]

CL - give the Family Relationships Advice Line a call. they are there to get you in contact with the right people for this sort of advice locally, and can get you on to a parenting advisor or family relationships centre. they are set up to do what is in the best interests of the child, and can draw up parenting plans based on that - and whether your child is young or not, they will take into account her emotional well being if it goes to mediation - the parenting order might be drawn up to state that he is to have access a certain number of days, but that she doesn't have to stay over night...

i would honestly suggest a quick phone call to them will give more answers than we can! good luck sorting something out!

[tiggerandpooh]

Kitt3n - your ex popping in and out of your DD's life when ever he feels like it is so incredibly disruptive to her, and to the rest of you! I so understand where you are coming from, having been through this situation myself. As BG suggested give the Family Relationships line a call. It is mandatory now that before any orders are put in place at court, an attempt must be made for mediation. Mediators will be acting in the best interest of the children. a counsellor is usually appointed to see the child as well. If you ex wont go to mediation, you will be given a certificate certifying that you have attempted mediation. the next step is going to court for the judge to decide. I really recommend you contacting FR - they incredibly helpful. if you need an ear that has walked this path, feel free to MSN me.

[Lisa763]

hello,
I am in same situation as far as not getting CS from the father of my DSs the amount u receive depends on if he has other children in another CSA claim.
I only get like 1 dollar a month and he receives $60 a F/N for having boys every 2nd w/end which i might add i think is crap..
I also have a family court order in place for my boys (as he threatened to take them) it states he has access every 2nd w/end and half of holidays which is pretty much the norm. But as my boys were under 9 when i i got they had no say in it at all. Me either really unless he was physically hurting them my lawyer didnt want to know bout it. Nw i have a legal obligation to send them whether they want to go or not if i dont he can take me back to court i fface $6000 fine...
Anyway hope this info helps although every case is differant but if ur children dont want to go maybe speak to a lawyer and just see what they have to say...
Lisa

[Lulu]

Oh Lisa it is a bit crap about the $1 child support ( geez I hope you don't spend it all at once). The FTB is for him to take care of the kids whilst he has them, I know of some men that cant afford the petrol to see their kids without it, so at least he can do stuff with them. xoxoxxo

[Kitt3n]

Ah - i just got a new assessment, he doesn't have to give me a cent in child support anymore! We will see how things go - we are thinking of moving up the coast - i knwo he can stop me moving interstate, i wonder though if he can stop me moving there?

[sushee]

Did you say he doesn't have to give you a cent? DH is not working (lives off his GF), is in Hong Kong, I'm earning a fair bit and he still has to pay me $27.00 a month for my almost 14yo. The way CSA explained it to me, as long as I have the majority of care over at least one of his children, and he does not have majority care of any, he has to pay child support to me (even a small amount) and even if he doesn't earn a cent.

[Kitt3n]

Yep, not a cent. The latest assesment states he needs to pay me $0.00 for the 08/09 financial year.

He has a new baby girl and a step son (dont know if that comes into consideration, the step son i mean) and he owns and operates his own business, therefore he hides all of his earnings.

I tried to tell CSA about this, but in order to do so you have to sign a form to declare that you have warned the other party that you are doing so.

What a great system, huh??!!

I fear the deeper i push it the more he will push to have DD more often.

[Lulu]

The fact he does have more children DOES make a difference to the amount he is supposed to pay you. I don't know anything more than that though!

If this was me in your situation, I would reduce the contact and leave it to him to request the mediation if he is not happy.

If you really wanted to move I would do it anyway.

This is just me and my opinion, I'd only really move if the contact was stressing the kids. However if you did move, the contact would HAVE to be overnight and for longer periods ie school holidays etc.

[XRMummy]

Kitten get in contact with the Family relationship centre They are fantastic... We have just been throgh medation with my DP EX wife as we would like more then 60 hours a month visition with DP DS.... Our situtation is the oppersite to yours as we have a court order in place from 3 yrs ago when DStepS was 1 and all that DP Ex wife would agree on was 2 over night stays a month n 2x 2 hour visits a month (we are pushing for 3 over night stays a week + other times) mediation worked well but a few days later DP Ex decided she wanted a letter from DP boss stating that he had the time off throughout the year for week long stays through the school hols and the medatior agreed with us when we refused it as she had now legal right to demand this sort of thing (her way of finding out where he works and so on) so we are now heading to court.... Anyway they will take into count your DD thoughts on the situation and make a parenting plan on wat EVERYONE agrees on ... they will nto force your DD to have sleepovers if she doesnt feel comfortable with it unlike the courts.....

As for the moving up the coast.... we stopped DP EX from moving interstate BUT also from moving DstepS out of the sunraysia district.... so the farest she can move is 100kms away without gettin into trouble but that is all written up in the court order..... has Your Ex got a order stating that you cant move interstate? if he does Does it only say interstate? coz if it does then i cant see why u cant move up the coast.......

[briggsy's girl]

Just a little note ladies - there are major overhauls to both FTB and CS as of July 1st. IF you have more than 65%care of your child, you get 100% of the FTB entitlement. BUT, child support liability for the paying parent will reduce. so, for families where one parent was claiming care for between 10 and 34% of the time, and were getting FTB, they will no longer receive any FTB at all - but their child support liability will reduce

i guess in Lisa's case, if her ex is having the kids every second weekend (about 14% of the time) and getting fortnightly payments, this will stop him getting FTB payment, and she will get the lot - BUT if he had to pay a pathetically small amount of child support in the past, he'll pay nothing now

it's a massive overhaul, and you should get letters from both FAO and CSA to let you know what is going on.....

can't offer a lot more info at the moment, but i know there are details on both centrelink/FAO and child support agency websites to help you to understand it

[Lisa763]

hey evry1,
In reply to the fact my ex can do things with my kids in my situation that is untrue as he spends it to play darts. My kids are in size 7 clothes and he still puts them in size 5 cos he cant afford to buy clothes for them which also makes me ....
Anyway i also know the more kids a person has in their care the more they can earn b4 csa take income so a new bub might have changed his circumstances... My ex has 8 kids so thats why i get nothin lol...

[Kitt3n]

WOW, thanks for that BG. Does that mean that he would have been recieving FTB for my DD, even though he never paid the measley amount that he apparently "had" to pay me? That makes me pretty damn angry if he did! If this is the case, i am more than happy for him not to have to pay any child support, so long as he isnt getting any FTB for nothing, IYKWIM! RAG GRRRRR i mean he hasnt had her for 2 and a half months, why should he get any FTB?