Bobbie - so true , you just never really understand it until you've walked the bereaved parent path, and you just never know how you're going to be affected, until you are in the thick of it. Sometimes the most obvious things don't even affect me but the left field ones do.

Sky - wow, it just gets worse for you in terms of insensitive comments in your family..... for christmas 2009 DH and I I spent it at home with our fur babies and angel babies, just our little family. Nothing from the outside at all - no calls, no presents from other people. Just us and our broken hearts. It was just what we needed. Do what you need to do. If people don't understand, then big fat raspberries to them. I have taken a step back from a few people who just weren't able to be considerate of my feelings. And there are others that I just can't take a step back from and consequently, because I haven't, I let them hurt me time and time again. But I make that choice.