Am I being too precious?

[Heaven]

I was one of those kids that would be DYING for a drink over at a mates place and wouldn't ask lol I didn't want to 'trouble' anyone.

pmsl me too. Actually I think I'm still like that at other ppl's houses. I was/am very shy with ppl I don't know. When I went over to my bf's house I never knew what to say. But I was taught manners and I always said thankyou for having me. I think she should at least be able to do that!

[DoubleK]

i used to be the 'visiting girlfriend' when dp and i got together when we were 18 (as in, the first night i met his parents i stayed the night,showered and left for work the next morning..) i was terribly shy, but always said hello and 'tried' to make conversation, even though i could feel my face going bright red! it took me a few months to actually have breakfast there! and eventually MIL told me to help myself to the pantry to make a sandwhich for lunch for work! without trying to attract any attention, i would occasionally buy 2 litres of milk, or a packet of salada biscuits or weetbix.. and out them in the pantry. it didnt take long before i was totally 'at home' there. but i always forced myself to interact with dp's parents.. as i didnt want to come across as your DSS's girlfriend is!

i dont think you're asking too much at all. i woud have a chat to DSS and tell him you would appreciate a little but of recognition... after all.. she is a visitor in your house.

[Cassius2]

i think Krystal ball is on the money there. get them outta the bedroom and into the main part of the household. have her immersed in more interaction that goes beyond the 'formalities' of dinner etc. that way there might be more of a chance for her to gain confidence and emotional maturity to be able to 'suck it up' and say thanks every now and then. i know that it worked with me!

[Marlene]

Shyness is looking downwards or blushing as you say hello, goodbye, thankyou etc...what she is doing is just plain rude!

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Kirsty, when I was 7 I asked for a drink at my mum's friend's house (we were there about 3 hours). I got such a telling off for being rude that I will now not drink all day rather than ask for a drink!

But if someone offers me a drink or makes me one, I still say "thank you very much". This from a woman who had an anxiety attack from shyness on Monday. There are such things as manners!

And yes, I'd also tell DSS that his girrlfriend isn't to go in his bedroom - personally, I'd not be happy having a teenage couple doing bedroom/sleepover things in my house, you may not be the same but I'd really be uncomfortable with it.

[Rouge]

I agree definitely take it easy. No need to be harsh. You can talk to her about it gently. I see no reason to be harsh in these circumstances. Shyness isn't rudeness.

[Persephone1]

Hi,

I'm just remembering being a rude 17 year-old...I think you would be doing her a huge favour if you gently taught her about what you expect when she's in your house. I remember my boss (when I was 17 I worked in retail) made it her mission to improve my 'customer relations' skills because I was very 'shy.' If you let her know that in your house you expect some conversation and common courtesies, she might react with a bit of shock, but she'll get the picture and she'll respond accordingly. She will also look back on it one day and appreciate the lesson you gave her.

And...she might just realise what a very cool mother-in-law you could be! And that you could probably be a friend to her as well.