teenager girl chat

[~Jo~]

Oh Lulu what a lesson to learn! Hope shes ok.

We have a blended family with my two older dds from a previous relationship though i feel blessed to say our dramas are fairly minimal right now. Last year we did have a lot of boundary pushing with Jess, but alot of that was fairly age appropriate and a mix of interesting friends with limited parental involvement.

I have found that its so important to have the lines of communication open so that you can hear about anything and everything you possibly can about what is going on in their lives. Fortunately i have chatterboxes who seem intent on telling me every last detail..whether it be an 'omg mum you should have seen what this girl did today....' or 'mum this guy asked me out blah blah blah...'.

Because we had the blended family despite the fact that I seperated while pregnant with Emily and Darren has been involved since Emmy was 18 months and Jess was 3 I was and have always been the diciplinarian. Thats not a cop out for Darren who always backs me up, but I just felt that it was in all of our interests to establish that right from the very start.

Thanks for everyone for sharing your stories..it certainly helps knowing that we all are in no way alone...teenagers are interesting and fun but they can also be very tiring!

Jo

[shazza]

i just wanted to say bathsheba freinds shouldnt make you feel like that
you are a good mum im sure and you are doing what you can so dont let anybody make you feel like that

[Bathsheba]

Aww ta Jesabell it's so funny watching friends become parents a decade or so after you started and seeing how much they end up contradicting themselves. Our closest friends (a couple) knew us waaaay back when we had our DD. I was 25 when i had her just before Christmas 1994. These friends invited us to their New Year's Eve party a week after I gave birth. They were childless as were all the people who attended the party. When we were first invited I gave a non-committal reply to the invitation... saying that we weren't getting much sleep and were still adjusting to parenthood (I had never heard of a babymoon at that stage). Anyhow they told us that just because we had a baby wasn't an excuse to go all boring "COME OVER!!!" they demanded. So we did. As we arrived our DD was sleeping in her capsule. Our hosts told us to "just put her in the spare room with the coats, she'll be fine"... so we did... and I proceeded to check her every 10 minutes... never relaxing enough to actually enjoy the party... we left soon after midnight knowing that a good nights' sleep isn't garanteed for us, unlike the rest of the part goers... and neither of us were drinking of course, you can't do that and be in charge of a newborn! Fast forward 11 years. This couple have their first baby. We drop in and see them at their place and only stay about 15 minutes because they are obviously exhausted, this is about 2 weeks after the birth. 3 months later we invite them over and they say "oh no... it's just too hard to go out with the baby and we're just sooo tired". Hmmmmmm! Needless to say they have forgotten how they accused us of being boring... we're not reminding them... but it's fascinating to see them doing all the things they had contempt for prior to having children!

[Ozziehoffy]

Hmmmmmm! Needless to say they have forgotten how they accused us of being boring... we're not reminding them... but it's fascinating to see them doing all the things they had contempt for prior to having children!

Lol... I would remind them... hahaha the evil side in me!

As for your DD's "look"... Joshua wanted to cut his hair a certain way and his dad wouldn't let him ... well a few weeks later he went out behind his dad's back and got his ear pierced instead! I always wondered why he wouldn't let him get his hair cut though cos it wasn't something strange that he wanted...he wanted a similar type of thing to Kyle Sandilands actually.... go figure huh.

Lulu, I hope they get the needle out of your DD's toe.. I saw your other post... lol @ kharma though huh.

[~Jo~]

Bath I think Id want to remind them as well!

Jo

[Bathsheba]

Yeah? But they wouldn't thank us... it'd probably just strain the friendship. There are so many things that I'd like to tell them regarding their parenting choices... I don't want to sound smug. They are now expecting their third. And I'd hate to be reminded of all the things I did wrong as a teenager... I felt so justified! Lulu: I did my fair share of stomping but only when my stepfather was out because if I did that with him around I would have been dragged back to square one and forcibly made to walk properly with him holding my arm in a vice-like grip until I demonstrated compliance. I think this is one of the reasons I get so annoyed by DD... she doesn't have to live in fear... why the hell does she have to make a fuss!? All comes back to "comparing" (remember my thread?) Is it useful... would either my friends or my DD really benefit from me comparing?

[melham74]

I too would remind them. My youngest sister has 2 younger boys well 7 and 2 and she is always on my back on how notonly to raise DD but the boys as well, she must think she is the perfect parent, anyway she was on the phone having a go at me that I have decided to send cooper to childcare a couple of days a week, so she demand to know my reasoning, I tell her he needs time with kids his own age I need a break I am raising 4 not 2 and I dont want him to be a mummies boy which he already is wont let anyone else touch him or pick him up ect, she says well you are doing the wrong thing he doesnt need it ect (she lets her kids call her a b!tch). Then goes on about how I wont let DD go to a private school I pointed out we cant afford it, she said well my son goes and we make ourselves afford it , I say DD is happy at the school with the freinds she has, then goes on to say KIds from state schools are nothing but trash who get into drugs ect and we arnt helping the situation by not enforcing her to go to an all girls school, I asked how to pay for this she said ask mum to pay for it, or work 76 days a week otherwise this is just the tip of the iceberg, I realise that it will probably get worse before it gets better but I really pity her when her kids are older I hope they give her Hell.

[Madham]

Hey everyone. Well done on starting this thread jessabell. I have a 12yr old dd and my dp is finding it difficult to cope with her atm, we have been together 2 years and she is use to having to only listen to me so we have a fair few conflicting arguements in our household. We have just had a beautiful ds and things are going fine so far, but i am just waiting for the next arguement to errupt. I have read all the posts and sympathize with you all, it seems there are more blendid family's out there than i thought with issues. Hopefully venting and discussing our problems with each other will help.