Hey everyone. Well done on starting this thread jessabell. I have a 12yr old dd and my dp is finding it difficult to cope with her atm, we have been together 2 years and she is use to having to only listen to me so we have a fair few conflicting arguements in our household. We have just had a beautiful ds and things are going fine so far, but i am just waiting for the next arguement to errupt. I have read all the posts and sympathize with you all, it seems there are more blendid family's out there than i thought with issues. Hopefully venting and discussing our problems with each other will help.
i hope so to abb
at the moment things are fine at my house but when the next bad day happens it will be nice to get on here and talk about it
hope you dd alright lulu
The most important thing for my relationship with my daughter (all my kids actually) that it be a better one then the one I had and still have with my own mother. In the process I don't want to extinguish my daughter's light, or break her spirit. Her determination, confindence, passion are things that I admire greatly in her. all things that I didnt have (due to a highly dysfunctional and abusive family and father)
sometimes walking that fine line of teaching her how to be respectful, without pulling the "because I'm the mother" said -in- a- very- harsh -disrespectful- tone -card is hard. It is so difficult to know how to parent when the role models you had were crap.
I have to look outside my own biological family for role models, and have read a lot. some of it is great, some of it is yeah right in a perfect world wouldnt that be nice....
so - how are everyone's beautiful daughters travelling??? or should I ask that question at around the time of the next full moon
So true Vicky about it being hard to know how to parent well when your own role models were crappy.
Well ever since Sunday I seem to be surrounded by mothers and daughters who are comfortable showing lots of outward affection to each other. Yesterday my neighbour and I bumped into each other up the street and her teenage DD (a year older than my DD) wandered up to her (it was lunch break at her school nearby) and greeted her mum with a hug and a kiss. On the weekend i was talking to an older mother who's 19yo DD was lovingly stroking her hair while we were in conversation and looking at her so adoringly. My DD hasn't done that since she was about 6yo. When we are talking to people she'll stand beside me scowling at the world. I really must be doing something wrong.
Last edited by Bathsheba; June 14th, 2008 at 12:58 PM.
no i think some kids just grow up and stop showing affectinate well my did i cant remember the last time clarissa gave me a kiss on the lips she gives me her cheek .
some nights i just grab her and give her a kiss .i still know they love me although dont hear it often but if somethings wrong they come straight up to me isnt that wrong but sometimes when there upset i like it cause i get the best kisses and cuddles .
i just try and remember what i was like at that age and i was the same i dont even think i gave my mum kisses at clarissas age .
*shakes her head at Bath*
Will you please, please trust your parenting a little better??? C'mon girl EVERYONE goes through a hard time through puberty/teen years. Remember, she is stretching into a new skin and trying things out. Give her a soft place to fall, she will come to you....
You know the letting go thing means we realize that we cant be the only ones teaching life lessons anymore. Its important to let them make the mistakes now, when the problems are small partly so they have the confidence to make the right decisions, but also to commiserate if they get it wrong.
And another thing Bath (!)- you don't know what those other mothers/daughters have been though to have the bond that they do. DD and I are always closer after we have weathered a storm together....
Well after a peaceful 2 days the monster in DD has emerged again GGRRRRRRRR..........this time because she wants to go shopping with her freinds which isnt the problem I said would give her $50 and that was her pocket money in advance for 2 weeks she wanted $80 and still wants pocket money, I took her shopping yesterday and spent $130 on her.......so she chucked a tantrum so is now not allowed to go at all
Hi everyone.
Just a short post, i have been a bit concerned my dd (12) was not copeing with the new baby etc. We had parent teacher interviews at school today and it was run by the students. Dd had to stand in front of me and her teachers to explain the work she has done in class so far this year, also go threw her portfolio and watch video footage of speeches, plays etc she had done in class. Then she had to talk about her goals for the rest of the year and her career goals etc. After listening amazed at how well she presented herself and work to us, her teachers went on to tell me how grown up she has become in the last term, how her work has improved to the point that next term she will be doing year 7 work (she is in grade 6), every teacher had fantastic things to say about her, not only her work but her attitude and maturity. I was so very proud but i must admit a little shocked i mean i know she is intelligent but i always thought she lacked a little confidence and was a little complacent with homework etc. I am so very happy and proud of her ad hope she carry's on improving when in secondary school.
Sorry about the "me" post but i just wanted to once post something positive about my dd as i think sometimes i dwell on the negative's a little too much and need to see the good in her also.
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