One thing I want to make clear is that you may have opinions one way or the other but until the day you have to implement your beliefs, the day your child gets their first party invite, the day your child tell you her peers at school get drunk every weekend and have random sex at the age of 13, the day you actually have to FACE it in reality - well ONLY then you can really understand how this feels.

I am far from a teeltotaller (as those in live chat will know!), my family have run pubs for years, I have worked in the industry for years - I am not totally uncool. My daughter has purple hair, has had the odd taste of alcohol and happily fetches a beer for her granddad.

DD had a ****tail when she saw Priscilla with my parents. I didn't mind so much as mum made a big deal about her being grown up etc etc. We discussed it later, and she said she couldn't taste anything. I made a point of how you cannot taste vodka in most drinks and when she is old enough she must take care with who buys her a drink. Why? Working in a small bar one night 2 guys ordered 2 double vodka and oranges and 2 beers. The girls ID were ok, they were both just 18. So I (probably VERY illegally) only poured half shots of vodka (and charged for doubles), and watched whilst the guys got ridiculously drunk and foiled their dastardly plans.......
DD thinks this is cool and has learnt something too.

SO my entire point is I'm not just making one decision - NO DRINKING till 18.It's more than that. I'm not so desperate that I need my childs approval, or coolness rating. I am teaching her as I go, but I'm still saying no!
I'm also totally against this rite of passage (or lack of it) and the alcohol "be all and end all" of any teen gathering.
I will teach DD to properly drink alcohol. There will be no way any of those horrible alco-pops will cross my threshold. No cheap and nasty spirits. She will learn to mix drinks properly. If she can afford to drink when she is 18, she will do it with a bit more respect.
I am far more inclined to let DD have a drink (if and when b4 18), dependent on the circumstances. ie - Letting her have half or a full glass of champers (maybe after she is 16) whilst at the theatre is WAY different than buying her a few cheap vodkas and dropping her off at a party when the focus is falling over and keeping your hair free of spew.

I am going to seek clarification on the law here in Vic. I was under the impression that it is not in fact illegal to supply alcohol to any teen if they are under your roof. This is what upsets me greatly.

Sush - if I found out some kids parents were encouraging my daughter to drink I would be livid and I would take it very, very far. It would be a sad day for anyone that undermines my parenting- let alone to that extent. It must have been horrific for you and the family, I hope she stays on a better path and leaves those people behind. The f#@kers.

I was a horrible teen, but I knew a 'cool' mum. She had 5 kids, her house was full of teens and she loved it. She was beautiful and fun, had a HOT toy boy and drove us to the local underage discos.
She was also very strict. She had a beer or three after work, but no way did we until we were 18. She nudged us to school when we didn't feel like it, and made us call our parents if we were there late. You can be cool and a good role model. I am not going to lie down and say "bugger it they all do it anyway".
I am setting high standards for my daughter and I have high expectations of her, nothing wrong with that.

I haven't called the parents and I'm pretty sure she won't be going. She is not 16 yet and I plan on showing her other ways she can be grown up.

By having a bank account
Having a part timejob
Responsiblity to her family
Knowning how to conduct herself and have a convertation with adults.

Wow, seems pretty simplistic when you look at it but it's amazing how many parents neglect this sort of stuff and waste their time trying to be cool.......

Gawd I've been offline for 2 days and look what happens!!