Hey Bec, you let it out girlfriend!
We do sadly understand your frustration. On my 30th birthday in March I discovered we were preg after nearly 2 years of trying. Sadly at 11 weeks I felt like something was wrong and u/s showed that my bub had passed away only a few days before. My DH was away too and so I faced it on my own. The bub was too big to m/c and I didn't want to deliver it at home so opted for D/C instead. A good friend of mine is due 2 weeks bofre I would have been and even though I'm happy for her when i noticed her belly had popped it was all I could do to stand and carry on the conversation rather than walk away and cry. My mum in her non-experience of mc told me I couldn't be sad for ever (this is a normally fantastic mother too). I was so angry at her for being more concerned with everyone else around me and how I was affecting them...it was probably good I'm 600km away.
I'm exactly the same as you. Just can't any longer get past the expected sad bit and it's definitley taken the fun out of TTC. We have told everyone we aren't going to try again, and in my heart that's how I feel, even though I know we will...DH like your's is keen and optimistic.

God sorry that was a ramble, just to say 'I understand'. Sorry. I have no advise except to stick around here. The women here are supportive and understanding. Vent away too.



PS thanks for letting me have my little vent. I've not typed it before.