i am back yeh i got back last night at 9.30pm and straight back to work this morning i have had so much to do i just wish i had another week to recover ha ha we had such a good time i think we all really needed it after such a bad yr last yr it was nice to get away from everythink i felt really happy and relaxed so i have my fingers crossed i have made a little bubba i was ovulating while there so hopefully i have i have really missed this site i started to get withdrawl symptoms ha ha anyway my son loved it being on holiday going to the beech and making sand castle and playing by the pool eating lots of ice cream and they had a kids club for him aswell he missed my sisters 2 girls so i am taking him over there tonight to see them and give them there pressies my sister said she has missed me so much and my friend its nice to know i was missed big head ah i have so much to do this week as harvey starts school on friday so need to get him some school shoes and have to do a big food shop as we have nothing in and do loads of washing and try and catch up on home and away and neighbors i love them anyway i had better go really need to do some work i am struggling to get anything done as i just want to go see everyone and tell them about my hols i just though you have your lap surgery in 10 days are you feeling ok about it all?
sounds like you had an awesome time away hopefully you will get a bfp it was pretty good timing to O on holidays i have everything crossed for a bfp for ya.
Oooooooh how exciting harvey starts school, i am sure he is going to love it, the thing is how are you going to handle it? chloe's first day at school i was a mess hahaha i was trying to quickly get back to the car after leaving her so no one would see the tears but i got to her class room door and they came streaming out and the more i tried to stop them the more they kept coming out hahah i was a shocker.
its always nice to know that your missed when you have been away, it makes you feel really good about yourself, sometime we get so caught up in everyday life that we sometimes forget that there are people out there that love us, even if they dont show it everyday.
Thats so sweet you remembered that i am having my lap next week, thank you
I have made a post in the depression and Anxiety Thread. I know i am being silly about it and i know i will be fine, i have been going through a few things and i think its all coming to a head and its making me worry about things that wouldnt really bother me? if that makes sence?? but yeah next friday is the big day and i just cant wait to get it over with so we can start making babies again
i didnt even think how i would be emothionly when harvey starts school and now i am thinking about it i am feeling a little tearful already i am just thinking about how grown up he will look in his uniform it only feels like yesterday he was born they really do grow up so quick god i feel broody.
You are so right about being missed after loosing by baby i thought that i was sort of on my own and for some reason my confidence just went and i always was worrying about what people thought of me and if they liked me but my councelling has helped alot making me feel better in myself and not to care what people think of me i have realised i am a nice person and if someone doesnt like me then thats there loss and i made alot of friends on holiday and then coming back knowing people had missed me it did make me feel good hope i dont sound like a big head iukwim.
Also i didnt no there was a deppression and anxioty thread i will have to have a look as i suffer with anxioty so would be nice to see if people get the same fears and that as me so i no i am not the only one thinking silly thoughts at times. well i hope the surgery goes ok i am sure it will al be fine and you will be baby making in no time i just cant wait to get pregnant i have been trying a yr in october feel like forever i really never thought it would take this long anyway i am rambling on again sorry take care lovey.
The first day of school can be very emotional but i can honestly say, with each day that passes it gets sooooooooo much easier, it was pretty hard with my daughter chloe as she would cry every morning cos she didnt want to go, so she would say she felt sick or something, but once she got into a routine and understood that she had to go she was fine with it, dont get me wrong we still have days where she tells me she is sick and cant go to school but once she is there and see her friends she is fine
I really truely hope you get your bfp this month, i have everything crossed for you
Did you end up finding the anxiety thread? i suffer from it alot sometimes i stress about driving in the car and the thoughts in my head are of " what if something goes wrong" the last thing i want is something to happen to my daughter or i dont want my daughter to lose me, just silly things like that, and i know they are silly things when i am telling dp about them but for some reason i cant help it, i am always stressing and worrying about anything and everything. I have my good days and then i have my bad, but i just take each day as it comes
hi honey harvey had his first day at school i think i was way more upset than him he looked so grown up not my little baby anymore he was so excited about going as soon as he got there that was it he was sitting and playing with all the children i gave him a kiss and said goodbye and he said bye and that was it and when i picked him up he said he loved it and he got a sticker for playing football he is only doing half days at the min but starting on the 1st oct he will be full time as they like to stagger the children in he was dissapointed that he didnt have lunch with everyone but i told him that in a weeks time he can he went to the nursary at the school so alot of his friends are in his class which helped alot i think if it was all new people he wouldnt have settlerd in so well.
as to the anxioty i suffer with it all the time and i am the same as you i no in my head that it is so silly but i cant help but think silly things i always worry about something happening to harvey i think its cos i have lost a baby i think well anything bad can happen my DH went out with his dad on saturday so i was in the house on my own harvey was in bed and then i thought oh a man could walk in right now with a knife and started to plan in my head what i would do if it happened how i would make sure harvey would be safe and when i tell my DH he thinks i am being so silly i get him up in the night to check the house as i think i hear little noises and in my head a really think someone is downstairs and might take harvey while i am asleep i dont no if you get the same sort of thing but i have only got it since loosing my angel i have always stressed over things but as to the anxioty its never being this bad.
also i really hope i get a BFP aswell i am due on the 27th so a few more days fingers crossed.
Well i am back from my laparscopy (sp) it was done yesterday, feeling a little sore but he gave everything a real good clean out and he said i had fluid i cant remember where he said it was as i was still sort of out of it but either way he removed all the fluid and sent it away for testing plus he took my lining away and sent it for testing, he asked if we would give him 2 more goes at iui and if that fails we will do ivf, he said we are going to do things a little differently with the next 2 attempts, he said more injections and pessaries (sp) so heres hoping we finally get bfp
that is totally awesome about how well harvey went with school well done little man. It makes you feel good when everything goes smoothly and its a great feeling when you pick them up and there all excited and telling you about there day and all the cute pictures they bring home. i love it
I soooooooo completely understand what you are saying about silly thoughts in the head, i really thought i was the only one who had the thoughts like that ( man do i feel reliefed) I am always worrying that we might have a car accident and one of us might die or some one breaking in and trying to kill us, and i am always thinking about how i would handle if my dp or daughter where to die from an illness or an accident and it scares me so much cos there is no way i could live my life without them ( do you know what i mean or am i showing you how silly i am?) and the worst part of it all is that dp works away and so when he isnt home and i hear noises i truely sh*t myself, i really hate being here on my own i dont sleep properly and i am forever checking that everything is locked so no one can get us. its so hard living alone i would do anything to have dp home every night. he works away for 10 days and comes home for 6 days.
i hope you have some exciting news to tell me? i have everything crossed for a bfp
glad to hear it all went well with the op you will have to let me no what the results say i bet you cant wait to start ttc ah. well i came on i am so dissapointed i really thought that this month was the month so looks like i will be taking a trip to the gp to have a blood test so they can check for a hormone inbalance i just no that there is something wrong and i wont stop untill the find something i have started a diet today as well which i am hoping i will be succesful at as i think my weight dont help matters i have being trying a yr now and just cant stop thinking whats wrong with me i just hope it happens soon.
as to the anixiety i totally understand it doesnt sound silly at all to me i am always thinking about if my DH or DS die how would i carry on cos i think i wouldnt be able to without them and am always thinking something bad will happen i think you are so brave staying in the house by yourself i really couldnt do that i get a friend to stay with me when my DH goes out for a drink in the evening its like i need a babysitter but it is hard cos these thoughts are so silly and it is highly unlikely that anything will happen but when your in that frame of mind you really believe that somehting bad will happen the other night i was in bed and i started sweating so bad cos i was scared in my head sounds awful i visulised someone breaking in a stabbing me over and over and leaving me to die in pain hope that doesnt make me sound like a freak but i couldnt get the thought out of my head so i told my DH and he was like stop being silly he really doesnt understand how scared i feel at times i just hope that i stop thinking like this one day.
hi 2 u all!
dont get a chance to go online very often but glad i did today. these pills you are talking about are they available in the UK can they be bought from a pharmacy......i conceived with my son on fertility drugs i dont get AF unfortunately my son passed away shortly after birth he was born prematurely at 25 wks 2 days. as you can probably imagine im desperate to get pregannt again and will try anything. its becoming an obsession if thats the right word to use.
i'll be keeping an eye on this thread for those of you who will be starting ths pill soon...good luck...will be praying for you all...
i am so sorry for the loss of your son its such a hard thing to go through i lost my little girl at 23 wks and you are so right the one thing you want more than anything is to have another baby and it does become an obsession my DH is always saying how obsessed i am about becoming pregnant but it is hard not to think about it and i no people say the more you relax the better it will be but it is really hard to do that. well i am from the uk as well like you where abouts are you from i am from milton keynes also i have started the ovulex have been taking them for 2 months now unfortunatly no baby yet but it has helped with my af and i think i ovulate for more days as i get ovulating pains and they last longer than they used to i bought 6 months supply of them from there official website you cant get them in any shop only on line if you do a google search and put in ovulex you can get them that way the cost me £90 and then the postage and packaging was around £25 as it came from america i think it is worth ago my friend took them for 1 month and fell pregnant and she sold her other 2 tubs and they fell pregnant straight away as well but you can read up about it on google and see what you think let me no how you get on honey.
thanx for the reply, i'm so sorry to here about your little girl. not many people understand uless you've experienced a loss in similar circumstances. luckily, google directed me to this site and have found some great support.
i think my DH feels the same about my obsessio to get pregnant its become more of a chore which i guess can be upsetting for my DH but he understands which is a good thing.
because of all the complications, during my pregnancy, and later my gyny has advised us to wait 6 months, which is jan 08 it seems like light years away. so, i got a second opinion and we got the go ahead. i did a test this morning and it was so im feeling really depressed today.
im in leicester, east midlands not too far from mk.
i thought i was the only one that had thoughts of losing my DH. beleive me i know how stressing that can be. i worry when he leaves for work and want him around 24/7. i thought i was being stupid and never mentioned it to anyone. it feels so reassuring reading the posts on this thread.
I am so sorry chicken that you got af and i agree its a good idea to go see your gp as you said you have been trying for 12mths now so i think its time at least then you will hopefully get some answers as to why its taking so long to fall again. please let me know how it goes, i will be thinking of you hun
It would be so interesting to find out exactly how many women think about the stuff we are thinking about ( lossing our loved ones, being stabbed) honestly i cant believe that we are thinking about the exact same things, to be really honest i thought there was something really wrong with me, i cant understand why i am always living in fear, i am so god damn tired of the worry and stress of all of it and to make it worse dp went back to work today for another 10 days so its back to being scared tonight and getting no sleep and crying non stop cos i am so scared and worried, and i am so worried about him driving by himself i dont want him to have an accident god i hate this ok i will stop now otherwise i will keep on going.
Sofy
I am so sorry for your loss sweety, you have found the perfect web site bb is the best. i am sorry that you got a bfn could it be cos you tested to early? or has af arrived? hopefully its just cos you tested to early
I know what you mean about obession with trying to fall pregnant again, i havent lost like you or munchy have but have miscarried twice, my first pregnancy came after 2 yrs of trying and they were twins i miscarried them at 8 wks and then fell pregnant a few mnths later and miscarried at 7 wks pregnant. my obsession to fall pregnant is part of the reason why i am divorced now. but i have changed alot in my self and i have an awesome partner who is alot more understanding but because i have had a failed marriage partly cos of this i can recognise when i am going a bit overboard about the whole baby thing and i pull back from the situation and think to myself, that i would rather have dp in my life then nothing at all if you know what i mean? we all have our rough days and sometimes dp or dh just will never understand how we feel, hahhahah men
so are you thinking of taking ovulex? hopefully they will give you a great result, so you and munchy dont live to far from each other? thats pretty cool
I conceived with my son Mustafa, after 5yrs fertility treatment. he passed away cos i went into labour too eary at 23 wks i was stitched up but culdn't hold on . cos my cervix had torn i had to hav an emergency c/section. to add to that the doc nipped my bladder so i've not done too well. at least, now i know i am someone's mommy. some one i thought i would never be!
i had been taking injections to ovulate cos i didnt get AF. i actully did for the first time last month naturally without any medication but i tested day 31 so i dont think it was too early. no AF but not unusual. we will try until JAn and then go back to hospital for fert treatment.
I do feel scared about losing my DH over the obsession, so i have a reality check most days and think about whether i could live without him aswell. just the thought of losing him freaks me out so like you i try and relax.so, yeah i totaly know what you mean.
fasting at the moment so really tired even though i've been sleeping a lot. but, i think fasting has come at the right time it's sprirtiually healing in a strange sort of way. my sons due date is 17th october not looking forward to it. but, maybe i can convince my DH to take me to the cemetry.
sorr, guys i'm going on and on dont mean to bore you. take care
hi girls sorry its took me ages to reply i as off sick for 2 days last week as i have my horrible wisdom tooth peeking through and it has being giving me grief and then to add to it i came in this morning and had an email from my HR department saying that i am at risk of redundancy my whole department is and many more in the company and i will find out within the next 30 days so i am really panicing as if i get made redundant it means if i fall pregnant soon i wont get maternaity pay and there is no way i am holding off trying for a little bub as that will send me crazy i just dont know what to do sorry to go on guys.
mummy2chloe
i would also love to hear if other women experiance these anxiotys i have a feeling it is quite common and normal after all the things we have been through i just wish i didnt have to live in fear all the time as it does wear you down. i still havent made an appointment with gp i think i am scared to go incase there is something realy wrong but i will make one this week and get things moving along also i have been thinking of christmas io no its ages away but i cant help it i have asked my DH to get me a glass plac and have it engraved with my angels name and date she was born and some special words what do you think i thought it was a really good idea also my dh showed some imotions yesterday the song that was played at her funeral came on telly and he started crying i was so shocked he said i thought i was over it and i said you will never be over it and gave him a big cuddle.also sorry to hear your DP has go to work again i would really hate that well i am getting a laptop soon so i can go on hear at home aswell so cant wait to get that.
Sofy
sorry to hear you got a BFN it is so dissapointing as we get all our hopes up to then get it thrown in our faces sending big hugs to you honey. so you live in leicester my DH supports the rugy team we sometimes take a trip up there to watch a game. i really hope you fall pregnant soon honey and its nice that your DH wants the same myh DH wants the same but he is happy not to have another one aswell where i wont be happy untill i have another baby.
How are you feeling sweetie?? hopefully that wisdom tooth isnt giving you a hard time still?
So sorry to hear about whats going on at work, hopefully you wont be affected by it, you will have to let me know how things go? If you do lose your job what are you guy's going to do? have you already started looking for jobs else where? god i hope it all works out for you, this is the last thing you and dp need.
Did you end up making an appointment with the doctor?? if so how did it go?
I think what you asked dh to get you for christmas is a beautiful idea.
Not much to report with me, just got af so i will be starting clomid on day 5 and will be doing around of iui this month, so fingers crossed hopefully something will go our way with it. my dp comes home tonight cant wait to see him, crickey i miss him when he is gone, plus i am looking forward to having a good sleep, as i can never sleep properly while he is gone.
hello honey how you doing well i still havent made appontment with docs i have to ring on the day i want it and i havent had a free day yet but will hopefully go on wed or thur and as to work i have a meeting on the 16th of oct which is 2morrow so i am hoping it is about what is going on fingers crossed it is good news and not bad as i reall dont want to be looking for another job. i havent being looking yet as i need to update my CV so if i like one i can send my cv in and hope for an interview i would love to work in a hospital maybe being a maternity care assistant or something or a teacher assistant or a childminder i will have to see. as to my tooth it has being fine all weekend but today is the worst day i have had with it the shooting pains are so painful i just wish they would rip it out and be done with it.
Guess what i got on wed last week a puppy i no i am mad but my sisters friend had some puppy staffs and i couldnt resist we called him stanley he is such a good dog he is 7 wks old today and he is toilet trained he holds it in all night and then in the morning he goes in the garden and does his buisness how good i think i have it lucky with him but he does keep nipping but he is only young i am gonna take him to puppy classes so i can learn and he can learn how to get him to behaive and he has his injections on friday i just cant wait till i can take him out for walks also i was hoping that this would take my mind of trying for a bub ah.
glad to hear that DP is back i bet you feel so much more relaxed when he is home i would never be able to sleep properly either bless ya honey. well i have my fingers crossed for this month that you get a BFP and i will keep you posted about my work and docs have a nice day take care.
not been on line foe over a week now. been fasting and had a few appts at the hosoital my c/s seemed to be hurting after 14 wks. all is okay. busy w/end with eid but everything back to normal now.
munchy,
where do you work? there should be a lot of jobs going at the moment cos of xmas and some are perm contracts. hopefully, you won't need to look good luck for the meeting tmrw. i think going to work in ahospital seems like a great idea but i don't think i'd be able to afford it on the pay.
if you have any teething powder try rubbing it on your wisdom tooth it helped me. but then my teeth were growing the wrong way so they had to be taken out.
mummy2chloe
good luck with the clomid cycle. i started on that but my ovaries didn't respond. so, we had to go on to fsh injections. they took absolutely ages in all 5yrs before i conceived with mustafa. due date 17th oct i'm feeling okay, i guess!
i've got PCOS aswell, ive put on a lot of weight around my waist so ill be joining the gym next week. hopefully then ill fit into my old clothes again.
i was woundering where you were sounds like you have been busy did you say that your c section was hurting you poor thing you have been through so much after loosing a baby the last thing you need is all these problems to add to everything i had a c section with my little man harvey who is 4 yrs old and i had loads of problems with the scaring and that i got infections and my tummy is still numb now i hope you feel better soon and i hope that 2morrow isnt to upsetting for you i found that on brooklyns due date i was fine it was the day after it hit me and i was down for about a week thinking that she should be with me now i should be holding her and nursing her and chagging her bum and having all those sleepness nights it is hard sending big hugs to you for 2morrow .
I work at t-systems they have just bought our company well they did in january so i think there plan was to get rid of all the people who didnt orginally work for them but i will find out at 4.00pm today i have to come back to work as i finnish at 2.30 as to working in a hospital i would also have to see what the money is like as long as i am taking home £600 a month i am fine as my DH pays all the bills i only pay for luxery things such as sky plus and my puppy and going out and xmas presents and birthdays and that but like you say it is coming up to xmas so fingers crossed there will be something if i have to look. aslo thanks for the tip about the wizdom tooth i will try it next time it starts hurting the funny thing is i was told that my wizdom teeth were growing the wrong way and that they would never come through but they were wrong not sure if it is growning properly yet as i can only see a bit of white.
i hope that 2morrow goes ok honey and will be here if you need to talk take care
best of luck with your job today? and i hope your wisdom tooth gets better soon, hopefully what sofy said will help it. Congrats on the new puppy, sounds sooooo cute and it sounds like your enjoying every second of it, so good for you sweetie and i bet harvey is loving it just as much, my poor puppy is like 10 yrs old and but i love her to bits. I think its a great idea working in a hospital with any luck if it the pay is good you might be able to go for it.
Sofy
Honey i really hope that your ceasar scar gets better soon you poor thing and i hope that today wont be to hard for you
I know what you mean about putting on weight with pcos, its a pain in the bl**dy bum last time i took clomid i ohss because of the pcos hopefully that wont happen this time round
Well as for me i went to fs yesterday and he said i had to start taking clomid straight away and i then have to go back in on monday to get ultrasound to see how many little eggs i made, but we are on a bit of a time frame as i can only get the iui done either on the wednesday or the thursday as dp works 5hrs away from me and they are the only days that he will be home, so fs is going to try his hardest to get my eggs ready and ovulating on either wednesday/thursday otherwise we wont be able to do it this month
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i have everything crossed for a bfp for ya.
so im feeling really depressed today.
ok i will stop now otherwise i will keep on going.
. cos my cervix had torn i had to hav an emergency c/section. to add to that the doc nipped my bladder so i've not done too well. at least, now i know i am someone's mommy. some one i thought i would never be!
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