TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ September 07 #2

[MistyFying]

Welcome to TTC after Miscariage or Loss for those of you who have just joined us. We hope your TTC journey is quick and successful. We are sure you will find much loving support from the other women on this challenging journey.

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The previous thread is here.

[pash]

Satya You're definitely better off without him. The nerve!!! It must be devastating to learn that the man who you'd had so many good times with has betrayed you so much. Bravo for being so strong. I'm sure you'll be enjoying life before you realise. You're so sweet for asking about the MRI. I had to organise my own sedatives but didn't cos I thought I'd be ok. I was shaking while I was crying, so I had to do one of the scans twice.

Rachael The trip sounds fantastic! Its a really good idea and I'm sure you'll have a great time. Who knows you may even be pg by then like Bun. IKWYM about thinking that you would have started maternity leave. I would have been flying home for good today. Doesn't feel good, just feel like I need a hug from my Mum (pathetic, I know). None of my bubs were molar. But some of the retained products may have turned cancerous or might just be normal retained product being extra clingy.

Dawnee White water rafting! Wow! That sounds exciting! IKWYM about wanting to run away. DH & I were daydreaming about moving to Polynesia, having loads of unprotected sex and never seeing a doctor/hospital/needle again!

LizJessie Looks promising!

I am really down today. I have been a bit emotional ever since the MRI (I'm petrified that they're going to find something really bad and that's why they're not telling me what they're looking for and that I'll end up having an hysterctomy).

I'm also upset cos I would have been about 8 months now, been as big as a house and would have ben moving back to Sydney today.

And my HCG has stopped dropping, so I'm worried that I'll have to start methotrexate eventually and then won't be able to ttc for 18 months.

ANd DH's friend is pg, which is great for them. But thinking about how happy they must be, reminded me of how happy we were, which just made me really really sad.

I thought things were going well, that nothing was molar, my HCG was going down. I started temping, thought I'd start ttc against doc's orders in 3 months. But now it feels like I might lose a uterus or go through treatment and need to take 18 months off ttc.

I just want to curl up in a ball and disappear until life gets better.

(I hope I'm just overreacting about the hysterectomy stuff).

Hi to anyone I've missed and good luck to all of you with your cycles.

[Leila]

Pash, i hope you are feeling better and the results from your MRI are all clear. Its so upsetting when you think gee i would be ... months this week and then some one call and say "Im pregnant" while i am happy for them i think i am a little jealous too - i would never admit that anywhere else!!
Satya - Im sorry for what youv'e been going through - there are nasty people in this world and its terrible that people with the kindest hearts get treated like dirt from them!!
Dawnee - hope you feeling better, and have a great time white water rafting.

I have a question?? I have been getting TMI warning - thick white cervical mucas - yeserday is started and i have never seen that much before - its not EWCM but does this mean i could be nearing ovulation?? I had D&C 4 weeks ago today (my god i just realised it wsa that long and now im a bit emotional!)

Hi to everyone else and advice on my question is greatly appreciated!

[mammal]

Pash—I’m so sorry to hear that your ordeal is still ongoing. I can only imagine how frustrating and frightening this is. Will you hear back from the doctor soon about the results of the MRI? I know it takes a while to interpret the results, but I do wish they could put themselves in your shoes for a moment to appreciate how scary the waiting is. I hope that this test helps them figure out what’s really going on so you can just get on with things! I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it’s something easily resolved and you’ll be back to TTC in no time! Big hugs to you.

Leila—could be O-time for you, but it might also be the result of fluctuating hormones. In the first six weeks after my m/c, I had unusual patterns of cm and very spiky temps.

EnglishRose—congrats on your BFP!

[satya]

Pash - it must be frightening sitting about wondering what's going to happen. The thought of a hysterectomy will be doing your head in. Try not to think about that. It's very unlikely that it will happen, I think deep down you know that. I know you will not stop thinking about it, but just try to put it to the back of your mind. I'm having to do a lot of that right now. I can't think about how hard its going to be not seeing miss4 and & how I have probably lost my last chance at becoming a mum. I have to keep pushing it to the back of my mind or I will end up a basket case.

Leila - it doesn't sound like fertile cm to me. It should be pretty much clear around O time and/or stretchy as far as I know. I've been getting different cm this cycle and I'm wondering what's going on too. I'm just getting a heap of white cm when normally I only get that after Oing and I've been getting it since my AF finished. I haven't had any clear cm at all and that's normally all I get from AF until O. It doesn't matter of course for me as I'm not TTCing but I do still wonder what's going on.

[Beaksie]

Hi everybody, hows things? I know I havent been in for a bit, but was kind of hibernating through the tww. Well D Day here for me today, and right on schedule (day 28) Af. Oh well. I was a bit disappointed, but happy that she had the decency to arrive on the right day, so I didnt get a chance to get my hopes up. Also happy with the "perfect" cycle, hopefully it will make getting that bfp all that more easier.
Satya- hmm. wishing I had big words of comforting wisdom to offer you, as I can see your going through a really s...y time atm. Im glad youve made the decision to put your needs first, with your now ex, and though Im sure it hasnt been easy, it will get better. Im sorry you feel that your TTC days may be over, but please dont give up hope yet, you never know what's around the corner. Meanwhile, keep your chin up, and you know we're here for you if you need to talk. BIG
Pash- How are you? Sorry you had to go through an MRI, can imagine it would be scary, and no doubt you're well over the medical interventions and treatments. Im also sorry about your Hcg. Has it gone up, or stayed the same? About the further treatment (possibility of hysterectomy), from all the research I did, when I had my "suspect" molar pg, chemotherapy is usually all thats needed to treat a molar, with the success rate being close to 100%. Apparently most women are then able to go to another successful preg afterwards, so Im sure this will be you too. Try to stay positive and not cross any bridges before you get there. Sending you all the positive energy I can muster
To everyone else, hope you're doing great, and goodluck for this month. Take care
Beaksie

[Wowzer]

Flo is here, it's the only time that I am happy to see her. It means that I know appr.x when I am going to ovulate. She is here 25 days after m/c, before falling preg. it was 28 days strange!!

[STARRYSKY]

hello!
wowzer- I think we are some of the lucky ones, i only waited dead on 5 weeks for af after my mc. I was also happy at first to see her (for one of the first times ever!) but now i feel abit sad about it cos it reminds me that i dwasnt expecting to see her till next year at least....oh well.
satya-How are you ? I have been thinking of you alot over the last couple of days, i hope things have settled down for you.
beaksiehope you are good chickie! never quite manage to catch you around you sly thing,hehe! My fingers are crossed for you (and everyone) this month for a bfp.
lizjessie- so whats happening? I hope your spirits are up a bit, you have seemed a bit down lately( i have been stalking you in other threads mwahaaa)
treelo so happy that all is finally well again, sounds like you have a very busy and exciting life atm!
mammal, leila, pash,dawnee, little scottishboy and everyone i have missed (sorry!) sending you all a big i hope everyone has a fantastic weekend.
I went to the show yesterday, had a great time, went on all the rides (gotta love those g-forces!) ate lots of crap and came home tired and sore.
had a bad day today, all emotional and teary, i hate it, didnt want to get out of bed so i stayed there till dp got home from work and dragged me out.
sold my car today too.... bit of extra cash, hmmmmm now how can i spend it???
I am so hoping that i get pg soon, like this month, i hate waiting, i hate disappointment, arghhh! ok i wont whinge anymore, talk to yas later
xxxx

[ElleJay]

Starrysky - Yeah, still feeling rather down, but I'm ok now.. I'm looking for a better job and it's not going so well, but things will look up sooner or later.. On the TTC front, I wanna wait for a couple months before we actually start planning, as does he - which is what we compromised on

[Beaksie]

Starrysky-Hi chick!! Starting to wonder if you're a phantom. Shall try to catch you tomorrow night. (clearly I have no life) lol.....

[satya]

Hi everyone

I'm just filling in some time waiting for my ex to turn up to remove his belongings from my house. It's a little nervewracking. His mother and my parents will be here as well so hopefully things will stay calm. His daughter will also be here so we can all say goodbye to her. I'm crying just thinking about having to do that.

I've decided I'm going to try to keep my house. I figure without having to pay his child support, his car loan, his petrol, his cigarettes and all the other odd stuff he used to spend money on out of our joint funds, I just might be able to do it.... at least it's worth a try. I bought the house while we were together but really I thought we'd be together forever (was hoping so anyway) so I wasn't too worried about if I could afford it on my own. I guess I'll find out.

[Wowzer]

Sayta money for you now!!!!!

[zionsmom]

Wow I have been gone forever it seems like! So much to catch up on but I am at work so it won't be easy. First of all...

Satya~ I wish I could say something to make it better I can't believe all that you are going through! I am truly sorry and am thinking of you daily, you are an incredibly strong, intelligent woman. I am proud of you for taking care of yourself because that is what matters.

Dawnee~ I am so glad you have the opportunity to go on this probably much need trip! I am jealous its going to be soooooo fun for sure!!

I can't touch on everybody but my heart goes out to ALL who have been feeling down lately I am in that circle with you girls.

My trip to Chicago was a great one! Before I left I called my doctor and she told me to wait a bit before trying to kick start my period. So on vacation I was relaxing and stress free and my period came Aug. 29. I was excited (surprisingly) It lasted 7 days exactly. Then my husband calls me to tell me that good friends of ours is pregnant! I am so happy for them but I was a little sad it wasn't me as well. I now have 2 friends that are pregnant one is 16 weeks one is like 8 weeks or so. Plus my due date is next month. I am starting to feel more at peace but its hard. Yesterday I saw my preggo friend (one of them) we were at a football game and everytime i see her its oh my belly this my belly that and she ALWAYS says so you guys still trying??? Then My MIL turns around and says Oh are you late on your period? Then other friends of ours turned around and said you guys are trying? Are you pregnant yet? I got bombarded!!! I finally said LOOK we are NOT trying right now, I just want to have fun and yada yada I don't know if I want more kids so Please stop asking me because it just makes me want to NOT try ever! OK obviously none of that is true but I just thought if I said that they would not ask me anything next time I see them! Then I went home bawling, plus all the Halloween stuff is coming out I am so sad. ( I was due on Halloween) SORRY FOR THE SELFISH POST really sorry.

[cheekyfrog]

Zionsmum, what a lot of pressure! I would have been a mess too. No one asks me, in my family, when I'm having kids. I think they've decided that I'm not having them because a) I'm nearly 40 and b) not living in a conventional 24/7 relationship. Glad your Chicago vacation was a good one! And that AF arrived without having to be kickstarted. Fingers crossed that you get a BFP soon.

Satya, sounds like you'll have oodles of money to spend on yourself now. A friend of mine said she was able to afford to save so much more once she'd left her husband.

Starrysky, glad you had fun at the show! lol. Are you getting another car?

Beaksie, sorry AF arrived for you. Hope AF stays away this cycle.

LizJessie, good luck on the job hunt! And I'm glad that you were able to reach a compromise with your DF. Although I know how much you'd like to start trying right now!

Wowser, good luck with catching the egg this cycle - it's good to have some idea when O is likely!

How are you going, Mammal?

Leila, I'm not sure, but I tend to get the thick Clag glue cm after I've O'd. Are you testing witih OPKs. It my first cycle post D&C I went through heaps of OPKs but I was able to pinpoint O and then knew when to expect AF. Which was good because it wasn't until 6 weeks after D&C that I O'd. Hugs for you.

Pash, sending you some special hugs too. I couldn't begin to imagine how stressful everything's been for you. I'm praying that you don't have to have a hysterectomy. Hope things turn around for you soon. They will get better. They must!

As for me, back to CD1. Was hoping to be pregnant and past the first trimester by my November 6 edd. I'll settle for getting a BFP though! And my ongoing saga of insanely itchy legs seems to be at an end. Woohoo for Polaramine!

[Penny]

Kbowman - sorry AF arrived . Are you still on Vitex? Apparently it can take up to 3 months to take effect (another thing to wait for, sigh!), so I am popping my little pill dutifully every morning... I am glad the antihistamines worked for you .
Zionsmum - what an ordeal! It's the hardest thing to respond to questions like that whilst trying to keep it together and not cry! I am sending you big hugs . Hope you feel better soon...
Satya - I hope everything went ok for you yesterday. I admire your strength!
Pash - Big hugs
Littlescottishboy - I am glad that your little one is better - how are things going?
Treelo - how are you going? I think we are cycle buddies this month!
Beaksie - sorry AF arrived

I am just about to ovulate in a few days and am trying to refrain from starting to bd too early ... My charts do not give me a clear picture of whether I ovulate on day 13 or 15 (even fertilityfriend always gives me a dotted O line). How do you link the charts from fertilityfriend to BB? I'd be grateful if someone could look at my chart...

Hi to Starrysky, Lizjessie, Mammal and Wouzer and everybody else I missed. Good luck to everyone for this cycle!

[satya]

Penny - you need to set up a homepage on FF then you copy and paste the info in to your signature. Just make sure you preview it first because I had some trouble picking the right bit to copy and paste. You will see what I mean when you get in to the homepage bit.

Once you have it set up I will gladly have a look at your chart. Having nothing to do but worry about getting financials settled with the ex and cleaning up the house is doing my head in. Trying to distract myself on here.

[cheekyfrog]

Thanks, Penny. Yes, the Polaramine's working a treat. If only I'd been put onto it two weeks ago, lol. The Vitex campaign continues. I'm taking two in the morning and trying to remember to take another one either before lunch or dinner. Thanks for including me in your personals, sometimes I feel like I'm invisible in this thread. To put up your FF chart, when you have your chart open, click on sharing in the left panel, then click on homepage set up. Then copy the http address. Then go to your BB user profile and click on edit signature. Paste the FF address into your signature and save. It should come up like this: Charting Home Page - FertilityFriend.com (Only that's my boring chart, lol). See how you go with that.

Sometimes you get a dotted red line if you've entered ewcm after FF thinks you've ovulated. Looking forward to seeing your chart.

[missbelinda77]

Kerry - Sorry that AF arrived I find that even when you know that you didn't catch that egg, you still hold some kind of hope each cycle. Just wanted to let you know that you are not invisible *hugs*. I still lurk in here every day and catch up on your posts

Hello to everyone else, hope you are all well.