Trying to Conceive After Miscarriage or Loss Jan 2010

[T-hopes]

thanks heaps cookie, murraycod & ciara! you have given me back some confidence! was shattered when i saw it as thought my cycle was way outta whack again! i almost caved this morning and tested but somehow contained myself!
ciara - any sign of af yet?? i hope not!!
murraycod - thinking of you today!
crafty - when are you testing??
emmy & dory - sending you a big cuddle!! stay strong!
budgi - are you out there?? how are you?? xx

afm -im back at work today! boo!!! why did i not appreciate my holidays last week!!

[mrsdex]

Thinking you Dory (sorry to everyone cheekily pop into thread...) & hope you find your spirits lifted soon

Be kind to yourself (A lovely lady once gave me this advice after my first BB post )

Best wishes to all you ladies TTCAML for BFP's & a new year filled with love & happiness x

[Sunbeam]

Hi Ladies,

I so hate to just post negative stuff but I don't know who else to turn to. I started back at work today and only made it 3 hours before I was in tears and had to cancel the rest of my day. I just feel so mixed and muddled in my thoughts. I have started back on the injections and should probably be ready for another IUI on the 18th or 19th. I feel like I should be happy that we are able to try again so soon but I just feel that even if I get a BPF I won't be happy, I feel I'm at the point where I just can't expect any pregnancy to last. I think if I were younger I'd give myself some time off but at 38 I don't think I can afford to do that. I hate being negative it's not in my nature but at the same time it feels like I'm just being realistic to almost expect a pregnancy not to last. I know I won't feel confident until I'm 20-25 weeks at least but I don't want a baby to be picking up on this negative vibe either. What do I do?????????

[Cookie36]

Sunbeam screw it - negative or positive we are here. You know just as well as everybody else that we don't sit around in here only worrying about the happy people! What do you do? Keep sharing! We know how you feel. We will help you carry your burden.
This is from a chain email I received - I normally ignore these, but I would like to post this in tribute to all the women here;

Time passes. Life happens. Distance separates. Children grow up. Jobs come and go. Love waxes and wanes. Men don't do what they're supposed to do. Hearts break. Parents die. Colleagues forget favors. Careers end. BUT.........

Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are
between you. A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end.

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you...Or come in and carry you out.

Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family, all bless our life!

The world wouldn't be the same without women, and neither would I. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other.

[T-hopes]

oh Sunbeam - sweety, you have had such a rough trot! the first day back at work isn't easy at the best of times let alone after a loss! its ok to feel like this today, just take it one step at a time, dont get ahead of yourself... try not to worry about 25weeks etc, we need to focus on that BFP and then take it one day at a time! I truly beleive to get a 'positive' you have to be 'positive!' sending you lots of love xx

[Matthew's Mum]

sunbeam-you did the right thing posting,hope it helped a bit to write it down,the injections as well could be messing with your emotions,good luck on the 18/19th.Grief is so hard,hugs

[eliselouise]

Sunbeam im so sorry to hear your having a rough time at the moment. Dont feel wrong or selfish about posting your thoughts and feelings, thats exactly what were here for, to listen and help out all we can. Your in my thoughts hun
Matthewsmum thanx for asking about me. Im doing well had quite a lot of ms and very tired but other than that im good. 7w3d today so im a little further than last time which is exciting but still finding it hard to get too excited. I have my first scan in about 2 1/2 weeks and if all looks good i think ill probably start to stop stressing so much.
Sending everyone lots and lots of and hoping to see plenty of very soon

[ciara.e]

Sunbeam, one of the scariest things about ttc after a loss is that thought that something might happen when we finally do get our bfp. Let's face it, its easy to think that if it's happened before it can happen again. And it's certainly NOT wrong to have these thoughts. It's perfectly normal. I would call you a human being for having these emotions today. Yes, the injections could be magnifying your emotional state at the moment.. but the emotions and thoughts had to be there manifesting in the bottom of your soul for it to emerge today. Can I be honest with you? I feel the same way a lot. I'm sooo scared to fall pregnant again because I don't think i can cope with another loss. I just don't know how I could carry on if i had ANOTHER loss. And hearing you having similar feelings just proves to me that its normal to be this way. We wouldn't be human if we didn't struggle. We wouldn't know love if we've never lost it. And we'll never TRULY understand just how miraculous a baby's birth is, until we've struggled to make it happen. I'm sorry that you've had such a trying time today. Removing yourself from work is nothing to be ashamed of. It takes time to work through our emotions, and you're allowed to take that time without feeling bad.

If you EVER feel a little down, please let us know how you're feeling! We're all here with open arms (well, open cyber arms lol). Your pain is our pain. I hope we can work through these struggles together.
xxx

elise, i'm glad things are going well for you. Postitive baby vibes your way hun.

Emmy - day 30? Gosh, she's taking her time to make her appearance! I hope this means that there's a little pea in there hiding from your hpt's.. if not, i hope AF just gets her butt here already!

t-hopes - how was work? are u going to cave and test again?? I wish the smell thing was a symptom... i don't feel positive about that though think i was just exhausted from so much working out and housework!


Ladies, i just wanted to say.... although we're having a rough trot ttc, it IS possible!! A friend of mine has had cancer 3 times. She's had so much treatment that she was told she'd NEVER have kids again. This year she turns 42, and she's currently 6 months pregnant. So we're not too old, or too damaged to make it happen... we're just waiting for our turn.. no matter what method it takes. I hope there are a lot of BFPs here really soon.

xxx

[Mildez]

ciara.e there is a lady where I work who is about to have her 11th baby or 10th or close to that. She is 45 and had twins not even 12months ago just before her 45th b'day. I need some of her fertility.

Also a 31-34 day cycle is normal for me. I am sick of waiting. Does vitex make your cycles shorter? Maybe I should try some.

[~MummaBear~]

OMG are you guys serious! miss a few days and i have 5 pages to trya nd get thru... at least i proved that i was busy around O ROFL
so i am really sorry if i miss things or people!! lol
Here goes!!

ok nope scrap that ROFL

i am just going to be entirely selfish ROFL

well O has come and gone ( no pun intended!!LOL)and now i am fighting my very stupid urge to POAS... any sitck just give me a stick LOL I really want this to be my month.. i knwo that sounds stupid cause we all want every month to be ours but this month just seemed special iykwim... If i got pregnant this cycle, Bubby would be Due on Kyarna's birthday... i think it is a pretty special thng to get it all lined up the exact day... i guess i wouldnt be so excited if i knew that there may be a chance of them sharing birthdays... cause i have to have a c section i already know taht they will not share... just the due date... anyway i guess i am dribbling now...

Of course i am feeling every early pregnancy symptom ( as you do in the WAABW!!!!)
anyway....
I really hope you are going well!
the piggy twins are sooooooo cute!
Murraycod- i really hope EPU went well today and you are not feeling too uncomfortable!

I am sorry i am too lazy to do perssies....

[TTCALoveChild]

WOW.. with all the post i feel like i been gone for weeks..LOL
I hope you all are doing good and i'm keeping you all in my

Sunbeam~ im so sorry sweetie i know how your feeling ..
Me & DF get so worried if we TTC again that this will this happen to us again.
We are staying Positive and hoping for the best!!

AFM~ No AF yet.. as bad as i hate AF im hoping she comes sooner then later..
But i do have a Question probably TMI
But i have noticed that i have ALOT of sticky & thick CM Mucus i never had that before is that caused from the MC? and should i be worried?

I wont be seeing the Gyn/Ob doc till Jan 26 and had no one else to ask so i thought i ask you ladies..

Anita

[Cookie36]

ciara - thanks for the comment about the impossible pg. I need stories like that to keep me functioning.
Emmy - aren't the long cycles great? Until you actually need them for things like, I dunno, ttc?!
mummyof4 - the plentiful posts are a ploy, to help keep you distracted - everytime you feel the urge to POAS, just come back and write some persies for the 5 pages you missed!!
TTCALC - you may find that all the cm is just your body recreating the cervical barrier that protects you from pg's 26 days out of every 28 day cycle. I had heaps and heaps of the junk after KT. I believe the general rule is: as long as it is clear/milky-coloured and doesn't smell off then you are fine. I'd just take it as a sign that your body is starting to recover and get ready for the next take...
afm - um sick of everyone complaining about the heat. Sick of DH tossing and turning like he's trying to beat the carp out of the mattress. Sick of the low grade nausea that keeps following me around.

[TTCALoveChild]

TTCALC - you may find that all the cm is just your body recreating the cervical barrier that protects you from pg's 26 days out of every 28 day cycle. I had heaps and heaps of the junk after KT. I believe the general rule is: as long as it is clear/milky-coloured and doesn't smell off then you are fine. I'd just take it as a sign that your body is starting to recover and get ready for the next take...
afm - um sick of everyone complaining about the heat. Sick of DH tossing and turning like he's trying to beat the carp out of the mattress. Sick of the low grade nausea that keeps following me around.

Thanks sweetie I never really had it the cm sticky like that, so i got worried since no d&c and lost our natural... It has always been clear and milky cm. but ill keep a eye on it...
Thanks again!

Sorry you having a bad day hope things get better for you..

My DF hogs the bed also always telling me to get over and im not even on his side..lol so when he is sound asleep ill smack him in the head to wake him up and ill act like im sleeping cause if i dont he will knock me off the bed..

and about the heat i wish we had some right now.. its only 9 degrees here in Ohio [USA] its freezing windchill -0... so if they dont want the heat send my way..

[T-hopes]

hey all! hope everyone is keeping well as possible... good luck to anyone testing this week! murraycod... how did it all go?? xx
cookie - yeah over hearing ppl complain about the heat too! they whinge if its too cold and now too hot!
AFM - Will keep you posted as to how I go on Thursday (POAS)! Its dominating my thoughts... been the longest week ever!! Ive an appt with my hopefully new ob this thursday too! cant wait to meet him, hope he is good!! getting him to test me for antiphospholipid syndrome, my sis has it and was the reason she lost 2 bubs so want to rule it out! feeling a few symptoms but i always seem too - good old phantom!! had shocking diarrhea the last 2 days - praying that its a symptom!

Hugs to everyone xx

[Sunbeam]

To all my beautiful belly belly friends thank you so much for your loving, supportive words. Sometimes it amazes me how comments from women I have never met can touch me so deeply. I know it is beacuse you all REALLY understand what I'm going through and how I feel because you have been there too. It makes such a difference to me to have this space and all of you to share with. I want you to know I value you all so highly. Thank you.

Today is no better but I am being easier on myself and only doing a few hours work. Going home for a swim and DVD arvo at 2pm.

[Cookie36]

TTCALC - forgot to add to that that KT was a completely natural loss, so I could liken it to your Angel and as such give you more reassurance. Some more reassurance, after the natural m/c, everything returned to normal very quickly - got my next AF exactly 1 cycle length after I started (red) bleeding for the m/c, started trying again and it only took 3 cycles...
I'm a bed hog, but to be fair - DH is a dirty stinking little Doona hog - so I'm actually only chasing the Doona.
T-hopes - to be fair, I complain when it gets cold. But only when it gets cold. Most other people I know complain both ends of the spectrum. 2 days till Pee Day! Hooray! Hoping for a good result for you!
Sunbeam - It amazes me too! It's good to hear you're taking care of yourself. Try to stay strong. Even if you can't, we'll be here, no matter what you need.

[ciara.e]

haha... all this talk about blanket and bed hogging reminds me of my relationship at current! For the last two weeks or so DP's been telling me that I hog the bed so when he gets home from work he can't go to sleep without trying to boot me off the bed! lol. And I've been waking up suddenly for the last week or so, because i've hit him in the face LOL.. poor baby. I really don't mean it.. but i guess it's a subconscious thing... if he doesn't wanna keep ttc, he'll have to put up with my abuse! LOL. poor thing.

Sunbeam i'm glad you're sounding a little brighter today. Things will improve. enjoy the dvd time!

AFM - well no AF just yet. she's only one day behind schedule so far, but i'm pretty certain she's on her way... that is, unless i O'd later than expected with the last cycle being a m/c. If that's the case, I might still be in with a chance of seeing a bfp, but i don't think i'm feeling too confident of that. looks to me like i'll be flat-bellied for a little while to come. Aargh what can I do? DP isn't giving in on the ttc break. he just said, it's too much stress, he doesn't want one now. I wanna punch him for saying that (not that i ever would).. lol, well I guess that's what i'm doing in my sleep already isn't it?

My legs are killing me after hitting cycle class and swimming yesterday at the gym! i'm going to do some gardening today and hopefully they're feeling a bit better by this afternoon so i can hit the gym again.

Take care ladies

[Mildez]

ciara.e maybe your body is waiting for mine as my AF is due today or tomorrow. I do hope you get another BFP. I am out for sure. 14DPO and BFN on a 10iu test. This bit I hate knowing I am not pregnant but waiting for a fresh cycle to begin again.
T-hopes and anyone else testing this week praying for a BFP for you all for the new year.