My heart feels for you. I'm not quite sure how I coped through the first month after the m/c and d&c... I don't know your story but my D&C almost cost me my life and that added a lot to the emotional and physical recovery for me.
My DH, my family and friends being around me so I wasn't alone ever helped so much, also for me talking about it a lot (I probably told people who didn't want to know - or didn't know how to respond in hindsight but talking helped me).
Going to the doctors when I just had questions or needed reassurance helped. Finding out information online helped (e.g. I googled a lot of things like how long after a D&C before getting A/F, how long hCG stays in your blood afterwards, probability of repeat miscarriage being low etc etc).
BellyBelly has been a life saver. I think I could have gone crazy mentally not having the support in here of others who were going through the same thing, or had gone through it. It amazed me that people who had had a miscarriage were able to give out so much to others going through the same pain, even when their own pain was so raw. Having others who understood how obsessive you can get about the whole TTC process, who understood the fears and feelings.
I felt different signposts for me helped. Such as getting my first AF (feeling like my body was OK again,), getting a negative hpt (finally the hcg is out of my system), temping (feeling like I was "doing" something each day), seeing my first O on my chart (feeling like I'm still fertile), getting the drs call 6 weeks after the D&C that I didn't have a partial molar pregnancy... all of these helped me feel like the grieving process had stages.
If someone asked me how long until you got over it? I'd say, I'll never fully be over it but I feel like I'm looking forward to the future now, that the M/C feels like it's in the past now - not something I'm still going through.. I'd say 4 weeks of feeling utterly miserable, feeling like dying (but not suicidal), feeling sad first thing when I woke up, crying all the time, not being able to see baby stuff etc. 4 weeks of life being terribly hard and needing a tonne of support. After the 4 week mark, *for me*, things started seeming more normal. I think I was hit really really hard and went really really low so maybe I got out of it quicker than other people I don't know. If I hadn't, I would have taken up the doctor's offer of getting counselling. Anything to help you get through is worth trying.. but I think for me, time was the main thing.. and hanging in there during the days you just want to give up.
It's been almost 8 weeks now since the D&C and for once I had to look up the calendar to be able to tell you that. But I can tell you in an instant I'm 7DPO. It's nice to be looking forward. I'm also tentatively thinking about a trip overseas later this year... it's nice to dream about something, having a plan helps me a lot.
I've gone on a lot and I didn't really want this to be about me but that's all I know and I hope it helps in some tiny way??
Keep reaching out, the internet has helped me a lot get through this.
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